Embracing The Crazy

I really need to write more often...

2012-01-18T18:26:00.003+11:00

I could easily say "I've got four kids" and leave it at that. Except that doesn't begin to describe what's been going on in my universe lately. There's just too much. So in a bullet-style update, here goes:

C - Starts kindergarten in a couple of weeks. We are so not ready. Not in the emotional sense, but in the "Gah we haven't ordered school uniforms yet!" sense.

P- Starts preschool in a couple of weeks. I hope it's able to draw her out of her shell a bit. Not change her personality, but it would be nice for her to have friends of her own, instead of just adopting her big sister's friends.

M-Still itchy. Been living in pajamas and mittens for about 6 weeks now. In a massive answer to prayer, we were able to get into a different allergist/immunologist, and we have the appointment next week. I know it's not a magic potion, that will instantly cure her, but it will be good to finally have some answers.

A- Smiling, cooing, growing so quickly. I have to admit that I'm so glad that God had other plans for our family. It's a lot of work, but I honestly cannot imagine our family without him in it.

Me - Constantly working on improving myself, involved in a couple of Bible studies, an accountability group, getting ready to step into my role as a mother to children in school/preschool, making lists, lists, and more lists, and generally just embracing it all.

L - Recently got a new job, in the same place. It's much more suited to his personality, I think.

L has taken the two bigger girls to Sydney for the week, so it's all quiet here. And lots of time for resting. :-) Which I will now do, by watching a movie that L would dislike very strongly. Last night was Jane Eyre. Tonight is "Another Year".

That's all my brain can handle tonight. I'll try to write more often!
Cheers,
Sarah

Getting My Crazy On

2011-12-09T07:01:00.004+11:00

Today we've got a meeting at the preschool. The teacher wants to talk to me about how best to help C in her first year of kindergarten, and I need to find out why she's so horrible to people at home. Part of it is an age thing, I'm sure. And another part is that she's had such a massive year, with lots of major events, and it's a lot for anyone to process, let alone a five-year old. She was stunned to learn that Charlie loses her mind the moment things don't go her way.

This coffee I'm drinking is really, really, good. I sincerely hope they never go out of business, because I don't think I could ever drink anything else. I'm officially a coffee snob.

More laundry today, because let's face it - with a family of 6, there's always more laundry. I like laundry though, so that's cool. I also have this urge to bake some more focaccia - we're going to the community carols on Sunday, and bringing a picnic dinner, and some olive focaccia would be yummy! It means I need to go get more yeast though, which I can do after the preschool thing. With my three younger kidlets. :)
For now, I need to get dressed, finish this coffee, and thank God for The Crazy, because I wouldn't have it any other way. :-)

Insight

2011-12-08T08:09:00.002+11:00

I discovered a few things about myself recently.

I like being in control of my immediate universe. So things that I do not control, I do not like.
Like eczema/allergies. I do the best I can to manage it, but when I hear the sound of one of my children ripping their skin to shreds, my blood pressure goes up instantly. If I'm driving, I start to speed.
There are many things in my life right now that are absolute chaos. Yes, I have a lot happening. And much of it, I can't control. Acknowledging that, and embracing it, have put me on a path to a much more peaceful place. Taking a different perspective, and seeing The Crazy as a positive, rather than a negative, has made it a bit easier to not lose my wits. Oh, sure - when you walk in the lounge room and see your five year old fingerpainting mostly on paper but spilling out onto carpet, it's a challenge to offer up peace and patience. But it's a bit easier than before, because now I'm embracing the fact that they're NOT little adults. They're kids, and kids do stuff like that. I'm not saying I'll let her paint the carpet, just that I'm trying to keep it all in perspective. Letting go of small things, and learning to focus on larger issues, is far easier. Loving my family means loving them not for who I'd like them to be, but for who they are.
I likened it to a train - I was letting others decide how the train should operate, thinking that I was making it easier on myself. In fact, I was letting go of what gives me great joy. Managing, organising, and taking care of my family, that's a big part of how I love them. By getting back into the driver's seat, I feel so much more purposeful and capable. I'm not letting other people dictate what I can or can't do anymore, and finding my own route. Because the truth is, I am me and no one else. I don't have to do things the same way others do them. It doesn't make me better, or right. It just means that my life is what it is, and I not only acknowledge it, but embrace it.

Now excuse me, because the kids are turning the Christmas tree on and off. Again.

Embrace your own Crazy - you'll be amazed at how liberating it is!

Complete and Total Honesty

2011-11-19T09:31:00.003+11:00

Sailing through some choppy water at the moment. I'm feeling very incompetent at the moment, and no matter what people say, I take it the wrong way. I seem to only hear "You suck. Do it this way instead, because clearly you are an epic failure as a wife, mother, home manager, etc." So for now, I think I need to focus on getting my head into a better place. Please stick around, because I will write again someday, but I just can't manage it right now.

Some of the stuff I'm dealing with:

Eczema
Allergies
Getting ready for kindergarten (school uniforms, school supplies, etc.)
Getting ready for preschool
Planning a Thanksgiving
Planning Christmas/Boxing Day
Normal, every day household management stuff
Body image issues (not new, but pretty intense at the moment)
Sleep deprivation
All the challenges of four children aged five and under.
Feeling completely inadequate in every possible way.

Yeah. It's a lot. So check back every now and again, and hopefully I'll have sorted this mess out.

Where to start?

2011-11-16T22:01:00.002+11:00

Today was a hard day for me. Yes, in terms of suckiness, using the entire world and all its issues as a guide, not all that hard. But relatively, using my own personal suck-o-meter, it was hard. There were tears, tantrums, attitudes, messes involving sunscreen, nappy rash cream, one relatively expensive teeny bottle of eyedrops squeezed out, one head injury (she's okay), stinking hot weather, and humidity that made me want to vomit. Oh, and two raw, bloody ankles because the baby got her 'mittens' off, and went to town scratching them. It was a relentless day, and I'm so relieved to be on this side of it. It was a four jelly doughnut, potato chips, crackers and dip, waaay too much Coca-cola, if I'd had a plate of nachos I'd have devoured it without a second thought kind of day. A "hey kids, it's cereal for dinner!" kind of day. And now, I think I'll retire, drink this cup of tea, and read a completely trivial and superficial novel, and hopefully sleep well and dream of nice things. Like kids who don't scream at me, and weather that never gets humid. Ever.
XO, Sarah

I can't believe it happened again!

2011-10-16T15:41:00.003+11:00

Alternatively titled "Did my water just break???"

So at 35 weeks and 5 days, I had to ask myself that question. I rang the hospital, and the midwives said to come in and get checked. I was home alone with the baby, as L had gone to visit his sister with the two older girls, and wasn't due back until the following day. I didn't ring him straight away, because I didn't know quite what was happening. Until I was making a sandwich for the baby, and it became abundantly clear that yes, my waters had broken. A lot. So, one friend came to stay with baby M, and one drove me to the hospital. I was admitted, and monitored, given steroid injections to mature the baby's lungs, antibiotics for an infection, and instructed to wait. With each shift change the plan would change a bit, but basically, I was there until our son was born. Whether he came early or not. So I spent 3 nights and 2 days waiting in hospital for labour to start, and had some pretty convincing contractions Monday night, which petered out by morning. By Tuesday night, it was decided that to reduce the risk of infection, I would be induced Wednesday morning. I haven't been known to have quick labours, so I brought about 3 movies, a stack of magazines, and some Scrabble to the birth suite. They proved unnecessary, because we were only about an hour into the induction when I was trying to pass out by using laughing gas (for the record, you can't, and I really tried). I asked for pain relief, and the anaesthetist came, but said that he couldn't administer an epidural in the space between contractions (I could tell, in my Entonox-induced stupor, that he felt badly about this, really), that it was too late. As in, I'm-going-to-have-this-baby-in-about-30-minutes-or-so kind of too late. I'm not ashamed to admit that I kindasorta (okay, I REALLY) freaked out at this point. Thankfully, I had a couple of rockstar midwives, who pulled me back in, and then all of a sudden I was making mad-cow like noises, and then there was a head, and then he was born.

Just like that, and he was here and he was perfect. Still is, in fact. We spent a few more days in hospital because he was in the special care nursery, and now we're home. Well, we've been home for almost a week. And thus far, he sleeps well, feeds well, and does everything a baby should do. Except cry. He's remarkably calm, but alert. Tiny, but perfect.

And now we find a new normal, as a family of six. It's not a simple thing, and at times, I think it will require a degree in child psychology, but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. It was meant to be this way, even if we didn't plan it. Our family which felt so complete before, has become even more complete than I would have thought possible. And that's reality, not just those happy hormones talking.

Now, I hear little M calling me, so I'll close this and next time, (you know, in my spare time?) tell you all about how the kids are dealing with a little brother.

XO, Sarah

Waiting

2011-10-01T18:58:00.004+10:00

In this season, I wait. I wait to meet our newest family member, I wait to figure out how we will all blend to make a complete picture. I feel this need to organise everything RIGHT NOW, to know all that is unknown. I wonder if I will be enough for everyone, how I will spread myself even further. It's not a question of love. That part is easy enough. Of course I have enough love. But time, that is trickier. Perhaps it's a question of time management. After all, we are all given the same amount of time in a day, so maybe the challenge is how I choose to use the time given to me? Of course I'm busy. Of course I have my hands full. But I don't see it as something impossible. Will I always get it right? Nope. But I will love my family, as well as I can, for as long as I can. It's why I was put on this earth. To love. And the fact that I've been given so many people to love speaks to that. They are my paparazzi, for better or for worse. I am more desired and in demand than the highest-paid celebrity. And for that, my dear friends and family, I wait. For the opportunity to be even more in demand than ever before. I refuse to let the complete lack of personal space be something negative. It's a blessing, pure and simple. A blessing well worth waiting for.

Why I should be put on bed rest

2011-09-18T15:14:00.002+10:00

Because clearly, that's the only way I'll actually take it easy. If someone orders me to do it, and by someone I mean a doctor-type someone.

We had a busy week, no doubt about it. It seems like every single day was filled with something, or had an appointment, or an errand. Which is typical for us, but physically, I'm just not able to keep up any more. And by keep up I mean do all that needs doing without swelling, contractions, or sciatic pain. I know I need to slow down, I know I need to rely on others more, and I know that I need to listen very carefully to my body. But it's hard. I want so much to be there for everyone, and so often feel as though I just can't do it.

Quickie updates:

M- will now take a few steps toward you, holding on to your hands. So now it's a race to see which happens first, her walking or #4 being born. Still a massive eater, and still having some constipation issues. Is allergic to pineapple, as we discovered this week.

P - was doing this weird thing with her left eye, where she closes it and points to things. We thought that maybe she had something wrong with her eye, but as it turns out it's just a weird thing. The optometrist said her eyes are fine. She's struggling a bit with feeling a bit left out I think, what with big sister starting kindergarten, little sister hitting all these milestones, and wondering where does that leave her? She seems to be waging an all-out war for attention, with food and toileting being her artillery of choice. We're working on it, especially by making a big fuss over her starting preschool next year. I'm going to take her shopping for all new preschool things in a couple of weeks, which will be lots of fun.

C- had her surgery, and I can see such a difference in her. Her speech, which was pretty good, is now extremely clear. She also talks a lot more, and I wouldn't have thought it possible! Her sentences are much more complex, and she is much more descriptive in her speech. It's almost as if before, she couldn't stay with a train of thought long enough, so she'd self-edit and paraphrase, to get to the point quicker. Now, she takes her time, and says the most incredible things! I'm so thankful for such a great preschool, because I would never have picked up on anything being wrong at all, and now she's had it fixed in time for starting kindergarten.

Baby Boy - lying sideways, and according to the ultrasound technician, average size. Oh, and he's got hair! I am so excited to meet this little guy, I have to say. He also kicks and punches really hard. I mean painfully so.

Me: Swelling, contractions, sciatica, carpal tunnel, varicose veins, and one insane nesting instinct. Still up in the air about delivery. On one hand, there's a c-section. I'd be keen to avoid it, only because of recovery. If recovery time was the same, and pain was the same, I'd do it in a minute. But if I could be guaranteed of a delivery like P's, which was perfect and magical, I'd rather do that. What I'm most fearful of is that I'll have a long and protracted labour, and end up in theatre anyway. It really all depends on the size of the baby. I can honestly say that I do have some plan this time, as far as being a bit more proactive in decision-making goes. The unknown factors though, could throw it all out the window. So we'll wait, think, pray, and then pray some more for wisdom in knowing what to do when push comes to shove (pun fully intended!).

L: Finally worked out a post-baby work schedule. He'll start work at 9, so he can do the preschool run, then pick up from preschool at 3 and drop her at home before going back to work. We had a good chat today about how he can best help me, and how I will (oh, how I hate this phrase!!!) cope with things as a mum of 4.

I think we'll be fine, to be honest - I need to be allowed to work out for myself what works best, and given time to find the right routine for us. And then next year it all changes again. But that's how life goes, isn't it? If it always stayed the same, we'd never learn anything.

Timely Reminders

2011-09-13T09:09:00.005+10:00

I was reminded this morning of a statement that I've encountered, in various forms, many times over the last few years.

"God doesn't call the equipped. He equips the called."

Another variant I've seen is this:

"God doesn't ask so much about our ability as He does our availability."

It is easy to feel ordinary when my day consists of preparing food that may or may not be eaten, wiping bottoms, shuffling people to various locations, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, and scrubbing toilets. It's easy to get stuck in a rut of "why does it matter, no one cares or even notices what I do, poor me" each and every moment of each and every day.

Want to know a secret? It matters. It matters because I was called, equipped, and chosen. Not someone else, but me.

And you too. So the next time you might feel like you're insignificant, remember that you are chosen to be who you are, where you are, when you are. You are the only you there is, and that's something pretty special.

Have a great day,
Sarah

What are my dreams?

2011-09-12T10:11:00.003+10:00

I've been pondering this question today. The short answer is that a long time ago, possibly in my teens, I gave up on my dreams, and adopted ones that belonged to someone else. Dreams that were more realistic. Which makes them less like dreams, I suppose. So how do I get back to a point in life when I know what my dreams are? I'm talking about the dreams that exist only for me, and not the dreams that I think I should have because someone else I admire has that dream.

Don't misunderstand. I love my family, I love my life as a wife and mother. I strive to do those things well, and I enjoy them immensely. But those things are not the things that drive me. It is what I do, but not so much who I am as an individual.

I started by examining what my gifts are. Singing, writing, and cooking came immediately to mind. Doing any one of those three things can make the outside world disappear. I am focused, steady, and at my absolute calmest when I am doing them.

Then I thought about how I can use them to encourage others, and how I can use them to be more like Jesus.

Singing in church is something that for the time being, I've had to give up. It's just not my time to do it, and that's been hard to accept. But that doesn't mean I have to stop nurturing my voice either. I can fill my home with music, I can sing for my children, I can teach them the joy and beauty of a simple melody sung from the heart. I miss being part of the worship team at church, but the simple truth is that with three little ones needing supervision, and one on the way, and with all the unpredictablility that entails, I can not be counted on.

Writing is something that I love to do - and rarely have the time for. I went to a day conference this weekend, and the topic of journalling came up. I love journalling (blogging?), but it's so hard to sit down and focus. There are so many words in my head and heart, but my perfectionist nature won't let me begin if I can not finish expressing them. And the chances that I will be interrupted are pretty high, so often my heart goes unspoken. But the truth is, that when I do write, I try very hard to be open and honest, to share what things are really like - because there's a really good chance that someone reading will be encouraged to know they are not alone. I try to write honestly, but positively. Grumping may feel good short term, but serves no higher purpose. Writing the way I do gives me focus, purpose, and intention.

Cooking is something that when I do it, I am totally lost. In a good way. Stirring a bechamel, assembling lasagne, creating the perfect curry, making food look 'pretty but not TOO pretty', imagining different menus - I could spend a lot of time on this. The ways to use this to serve my family are obvious, as are the ways I can use this to further God's kingdom. I was, until now, baking morning tea for our playgroup. Having to take some time off from that is hard, but I know that my time will come again. I have made meals for people in the past, or invited people to my home, and it's something that fills me with so much joy. Feeding people, and feeding them well, is an absolute passion of mine.

Now to take these three things, and incorporate them into my current season of life - that's the challenge. But at least I've begun to think about it, and maybe will rediscover what my dreams are after all. They probably look a bit different than they did at 15, instead reflecting who I am today. Older, hopefully wiser, and more confident than the awkward teenager who lost touch with those dreams.

Thanks for listening,
Sarah

Strap in, and hold on tight!

2011-08-28T19:25:00.006+10:00

Here's the latest and greatest from our side of the globe:

M- is officially one year old today. 8 teeth, four on the way, loves to eat, and is quite a happy little baby. Has started tentatively cruising, though seems to be a bit wobbly on her feet. Seems to prefer crawling. Has inherited the family skin affliction, which at the moment is aggravated by teething.

P - experiencing a regression in the toilet training department. Not fun. I don't think it's a physical problem, so I'm at a bit of a loss. All I know is, it stinks. Pun fully intended, I can assure you. She'll grow out of it, but I don't know if I'm supposed to just put her back into nappies, or if I should start the whole training process over again. Suggestions?

C- Where to start. We had her hearing tested, and apparently she's almost completely deaf in the right ear. Hearing in the left ear is barely acceptable. Diagnosis? Glue Ear. Frankly, I'm amazed that she's been able to compensate so well, and hide it. I mean, it's not like she's had loads of ear infections, or complained about her ears hurting, or even had trouble with speech. I'm so thankful that the preschool suggested having her hearing checked, even if it did take us ages to get in to get it done. She goes in for grommet surgery in a few weeks, and they're going to the right ear, and possibly the left ear as well. It's a scary thing, but the timing feels perfect. She starts kindergarten next year, and we don't want her to have that kind of challenge straight off the starting block. All the same, the preschool teacher said that she'd contact the school and let them know about it, so that they can be aware of and work with it. Like make sure she's seated at the front of the class, rather than at the back.

Me. 31 weeks pregnant this week, and a litany of related physical challenges. Like driving. I don't fit behind the wheel anymore, which means that my driving has ceased until the new car arrives. Housework has become infinitely more challenging, and a lot of things have slipped by the wayside. Like vacuuming the mattresses - may sound excessive, but when you've got a family of people who suffer in varying degrees from dust mite allergies, it's necessary. But because I'm the only one who can be bothered to do it, and in my current form it's just too hard, you'd better believe it's not been done in about two weeks. I struggle to vacuum the floor, and with a crawler who eats everything she finds, that's more of a priority. Washing up is a thing of the past - if I stand at the kitchen sink for more than 15 minutes, my back aches and my feet start to tingle and swell. Don't get me wrong - I'm so thankful to be pregnant, and I am fully aware of how blessed I am. Physically though, this pregnancy has been so much harder on my body. I'm probably the healthiest I've been for any pregnancy, but it's really taken a toll on me. And the mood swings? Let's just not go there. It's not a pretty place, my friends. I struggle with feelings of inadequacy and guilt on a daily, sometimes hourly basis. And then I remember that God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things. And I don't feel so badly.

L - working hard, studying hard. He just put in a load of research and work to find the right car for us, which will accomodate our (slightly larger than average) family, with room to spare. I like to call it the Tardis, because it's bigger on the inside than it would appear from the outside. He's happy to have his garden back as well, now that the dog has gone to a better home. Slowly, he's been replanting, planning, and pruning, as well as preparing several veggie patches. Pumpkin seeds and capsicum seeds (red or green bell peppers) went in the ground today, and we've got sweet peas and spring onions, a handful of strawberry plants, and masses of cherry tomatoes. He's quite the green thumb, and I'm very thankful to have a husband who is such a keen gardener and hard worker.

Well, it's just past 9pm, and while that might not sound like a late night for most of you, it is for me. So I'll go resettle the baby, and then brush my teeth and head for bed.

XO,
Sarah

All kinds of busy!

2011-07-22T13:10:00.006+10:00

But in a good way, I can assure you.

What with occupational therapy, speech therapy, doctor's visits, allergist appointments, errands, playdates, and general activities, I hardly have time these days to sit down and write a newsy post. It's not likely to lighten up any time soon, so you'll just have to get used to my infrequent and erratic schedule. :)

Still no name for our little man - it's a lot harder this time. So far in this pregnancy, I avoided a lot of nausea, but am constantly hungry. Sometimes for good stuff, sometimes for weird stuff, but always hungry.

I am also in full-blown domestic emergency mode, and can't stop doing housework. Which is mostly true, except for those times when my body simply won't do anything else, and I must rest. Like yesterday, hey? Wow - that was one tired afternoon/evening! Thankfully, I woke up feeling refreshed enough to power through and get most of the housework caught up. And even more thankfully, there are sufficient leftovers to keep me from cooking tonight, so if I do get worn out by all the domestic energy expended today, I'll be able to take it easy this evening. At this point, all that's left to do is vacuum and mop the floors. My weekend project is to find all the reusable shopping bags and clean them out, then put them back in the car where they belong.

C is doing well, halfway through her last year of preschool. She's really turned a corner lately in the behaviour department. It's as though I'm finally getting to see what others have been telling me about for a while. She still has moments, as do I - but they are fewer, and much less frequent. We're looking into school placements for her for next year - how did she get to be big enough to go to school??? She's also been diagnosed with 'glue ear', and we'll see the ENT man in a few weeks - not sure if he'll be a 'let's wait and see' kind of doctor, or a 'she needs a grommet right now' kind of doctor.

P is also well, with the new eczema and allergy management plan working wonders. Her skin is in really good shape, and we are able to skip the cortisone cream most days, and when we do need it, the weaker of the two is sufficient. She's also lost the 'allergic eye bags' she's had for the better part of a year. She's due to start preschool next year, and while I'll miss having her around during the day on those days, I know she's totally ready.

M - pulling up to stand on anything and everything, a big fan of emptying bookshelves, and a bigger fan of eating. She can pack away an astonishing amount of food before being full. Still suspect a latex allergy, but will wait until she's two before having her tested (mostly because of entering preschool, and need for caution there). Had another incident with a foam puzzle mat, this time it took less than an hour for the bumpy rash to appear on her face. Some weak cortisone seemed to calm it down a bit, and now it's healing (4 days later?) The reactions seem to be more rapid and longer-lasting each time. Kind of scary, but without a definitive diagnosis, not much to do but avoid it as much as possible.

Soon going to pick up C from preschool, after a busy morning out. And the day is not over yet. Tonight is a 'transition to big school' event at the preschool for the parents, where we get to meet and greet some representatives from local schools (two of the schools we're considering), ask lots of questions, and find out how to prepare our children for 'big school'.

Plus dinner, housework, etc. Amid pretty constant Braxton-Hicks contractions, and a chilly dampness in the air that makes one just want to lie down and sleeeeeeeep. Or maybe that's just me, in all my gestational, mother-of-three-point-five glory?

Until next time,
Sarah

Early Morning Reflections

2011-07-09T06:23:00.006+10:00

It's Saturday morning. I was awake at 5:37, making a bottle and a cup of coffee. Once upon a time, I would have been horrified at the thought of being awake that early on a Saturday morning. Part of me still rebels, hoping against all hope that I'll get a reprieve and be able to sleep in. But a larger part of me relishes these quiet moments. The moments when I am free to sit, pray, read, plan, think, and just be. When no one is shouting for me to Come.And.Wipe.My.Bottom. When the sound of children's television is absent. When the only thing I can hear is birds, waking up for the day, the light snoring of my baby, some cars on the highway (very faintly), and the sound of my own heart, faithfully beating out the rhythm of my life. I love my life, and I wouldn't trade it for another. I wouldn't trade the poo-splosions, the tantrums, the workload, the broken sleep, the inability to remember if I've showered recently, the neverending cycle of housework, the complete absence of privacy, the long-lost luxury of being able to focus my mind on one thing at a time without being sidetracked by a million mental post-it notes, or the immense sense of responsibility, guilt, and obligation I feel on a daily basis. No, I wouldn't trade it for the life I used to have.

Because the life I used to have was missing (apart from that list I just made) one extremely vital element.

Jesus.

Oh, I knew who he was, I had the Sunday school answers. But he was no more real to me than any other historical figure. He had no place in my daily life. And then I met my husband, and something changed. I wanted a life worth sharing with someone. I wanted a life of substance, of meaning. And I found it in Christ.

It didn't answer all my questions, and it didn't make me a perfect human being, a 'Stepford Christian'. I still make mistakes, I'm still selfish, and lazy, and messy. But the biggest difference in my life is that I'm not content to stay that way. I want to be more, better. I strive for 'better' in every aspect of my life. In my relationships, in my work, in my life. Good enough is something to settle for. It implies that I'm happy with where I'm at, that I'm satisified. I don't want to be satisfied any more. I want to be always seeking to improve. Because truth is that I am not perfect, and there will always be room for improvement. I'm not talking about wanting to be perfect, because that's not going to happen this side of heaven. Rather, I'm talking about making my time here on Earth as good as it can possibly be. To not live a life of "meh", but a life of "WOW!"

I kind of went off on a tangent there, and now I can hear all my children waking up, so I'll close this here and write again another time. But I challenge all of you to think about the life you have, and ask yourself if you dare to live a life beyond simply 'good enough'.

XO, Sarah

Will I ever just have quiet?

2011-07-08T05:46:00.003+10:00

It's been a really busy month. A lot of emotions, a lot of major life changes. All good, but all big. So. Strap in, hang on, and away we go...

* We had to get rid of the dog. He was a lovely boy, but just too much for this overworked mama to handle. He was bored, lonely, and to be honest getting a bit fat. So we sent him to live on a farm, where he now most likely annoys the living daylights out of the other two dogs all day long. And eats like he's employed. God love his furry little hyperactive heart.

* We've begun doing occupational and speech therapy for C - everything is cool, but she just needs a bit of extra help to be ready for school next year. Which ends up being in the category of 'more stuff for mummy to do'.

* P is due to see the paediatric allergist, in the hopes that we can 'fix' her dust allergy before it gets worse. She wakes up most nights scratching, and draws blood on a regular basis. Bandaging and sedative antihistamine is no way for a 3-year old to live, and I don't know what else to do. We've tried countless 'miracle' creams, potions, lotions, treatments, and she's suffering. So before summer comes, and with it an exploding dust mite population, we'll consult with the 'experts', and see what they have to say.

* My husband's parents are in the process of moving in. It's a huge life change for them, and for us. We're all very busy learning about boundaries, and how to establish a routine that works for everyone.

* Though everything is relatively fine in this pregnancy, I must admit that I'm not physically tolerating it well. By midday, I've got throbbing pain where no pain should ever throb, and I end up sitting on an ice pack while doing dinner prep.

* I need to wean the baby off her dummy/pacifier. Mostly because I hate getting up four times a night to give it back to her when she can't find it.

*I have to admit, I'm panicking a bit about stewardship as it relates to my household budget. I could not have done a better job this last payday in organising things and planning, and yet I worry that I should have done a better job at managing my resources. I'm always looking for more ways to cut the fat out of an already lean budget. Though by a lot of standards, it's not really all that lean. We enjoy a lot of luxuries that many folks can't afford. I've made a list of 'additional' expenses for the rest of the year (things that don't relate to the daily operation of our household), and will assign estimates, priorities, and 'final purchase' deadlines to each item to help me take it one thing at a time. Because when I look at the entire list, I start to hyperventilate.

* Little C has been extraordinarily grown up lately. Throwing out pleases and thank yous all over the place, speaking to me graciously, keeping her temper in check, not arguing with me over every single thing, generally being very pleasant to me. She was like this all along with everyone else, but I was not reaping the benefits of my hard work in mothering. I'll leave it there. Now though, we are able to relate on a much different plane. And I am so thankful. Because the thought of tears, drama, and arguments amid the chaos of an expanding household was more than I could bear. So thank you Jesus for changing her heart. And mine, of course!

* It's 6:49 am, and I'd better go wake up my husband, so he's not too rushed this morning going to work. :-) And the baby wants her breakfast. Five minutes ago, by the sound of it. :-)

Love and Blessings to you all,
Sarah

Bring on the Crazy!

2011-05-26T07:16:00.003+10:00

It's been a wild couple of days - yesterday, I had my booking visit at the hospital. The midwife who booked me in is the same midwife who delivered my second child, and I saw her for one of my antenatal visits the third time around. She's awesome! So minus a cup of coffee, it was like visiting with a girlfriend. Well, and we discussed rather personal issues pertaining to my girly bits. Which, come to think of it, is a lot like visiting with a girlfriend! Anyway, yesterday we left the house at about 7:50, and didn't get home until about 3pm. It was a long day. Then my stomach muscles began to separate (a tad painfully, I might add). Totally normal, but it normally doesn't happen until later on. It's just that my body's memory of pregnancy procedure is so fresh, we're getting a bit ahead of ourselves. I put some heat on it, and while it won't fix the separation, it did make it less sore.

Today the kids are sick, I'm sick, the dog is going in to be chipped and desexed, I've got to drop off morning tea at playgroup, and of course there's a load of housework to do. But I'm feeling rather optimistic about it all. We'll get it done, one thing at a time. No problem. C is home sick from preschool today, so it's ladies' day at our house. Hopefully, we'll get to have some 'quiet time' this afternoon, in lieu of a nap.

Hopefully some baking will be done today, as well. I'm a bit tired, but need to bake. I'm thinking some bagels would be awesome!

XO,
Sarah

So. No Rapture Yet.

2011-05-22T18:31:00.002+10:00

But it did get me to thinking some deep thoughts, so while the world is laughing at that guy, I wonder if there are others out there who may have had life-altering moments, when considering the end of the world.

I was at the supermarket. Nothing special there. But thinking about this guy, and the end of the world, I saw things differently. So much of what exists here is, in the big picture, completely unimportant. Yes, it's important for life here on earth - no denying that. But in considering Christ's return, will I really care about whether Pringles are 2 for $5?. I was looking at the other shoppers, and just thinking - I wonder if she knows Jesus? I wonder if this person will be left behind? - and it started to make me feel very, very sad. Grieving for all those who would be left behind. And not just strangers, either - people I love, people I know. People who either don't know about Jesus, or people who know and don't care. I got out to my car, and I was feeling almost paralysed by grief. And then I thought - wouldn't that be just what the devil and all his little pals would want? Then I started to get mad, and indignant. I said to myself (and I'm sure I looked a bit odd, sitting in the car by myself having an animated discussion!) "if this IS the last 30 minutes on Earth, I'm going out fighting." I felt moved to pray like never before. And for what could possibly be the first time ever, I truly believed that God could and would answer my prayers. I felt like he really heard me. I prayed loudly, boldly. And then I went home, and in spite of the workload in front of me, I felt such purpose, such joy in doing it. Sure, I burned the dinner, and it was all but inedible - but it was made with love.
See, (and this is the big conclusion I came to) I may not be able to run off to Borneo to be a missionary. That's not my calling. My calling is this: to be a wife to my husband, to be a mother to my children, and to care for my home, to serve my church as best as I can, and to use my talents to uplift and encourage and love everyone I encounter. I want Christ to shine through the cracks in my humanity, to bring light to those who know only darkness. And by serving cheerfully, wholeheartedly, from an attitude of worship, it surely will.
Not having been raptured, I'm all too aware now that I am living on borrowed time. Because the last days will come. That we know. But no one knows when. And truly, I might die before then. The question is, will I use whatever time I have left on this earth to glorify God, or glorify myself?

A bit of randomosity.

2011-05-18T16:00:00.005+10:00

I'm writing this post in bullet format - I don't have time for the verbal incontinence today.

- I signed up for this challenge, called Maximize Your Mornings. It's all about developing disciplines that set you up right for the day, starting with reading your Bible and prayer. It's only been a few days, but I can feel a difference. I'm finding that checking in with other women all over the globe who are united to each other in purpose each morning is really helpful, and I'm loving it. I think the challenge goes 8 weeks - at which point this will be such a habit that I won't be able to break it!

- I have a sore throat, and feel as though I'm coming down with whatever the girls have. Please let it be a minor cold??

- I am currently 16 weeks pregnant, which is insane. Still find it hard to believe sometimes that we are actually doing all this again.

- I got a smartphone. And I'm making it really work for me. Using the calendar feature, the notes, the to-do lists, the alarms, and I've downloaded a few apps that have been fantastic. In particular, a daily scripture verse, and a daily Bible study thingy. The one thing this phone doesn't have, that my old phone did, is a decent timer feature. I was able to do interval timers, which work really well for a concentrated burst of housecleaning. There are several timer applications to download, but none of them really seem to be what I want. So for now, I'm keeping the old phone, which can use the timer function independently of the chip thingy.

- Is a platter with crackers, cheese, and grapes too posh for playgroup morning tea?

- I'd better wrap this up, I've got a Thai Red Chicken Curry to make, and kids to wrangle, and at some point, I need to bake some biscuits. Which also means a trip to the store. For stuff like vanilla, butter, and brown sugar. So I can put on another kilo from eating cookie dough. :-)

XO, Sarah

First-World Gripes

2011-05-10T09:30:00.004+10:00

I've got a few things irking me. Small things, petty things. But I've got no one to talk to about it, and if I don't unload, I'm going to lose my marbles.

1. Balloons. I hate them. The smell, the sound they make, I. HATE. BALLOONS. And when you have kids, everywhere you go, people want to give them balloons. We went to the chemist yesterday, and they were taking apart a display - gave the girls balloons. Now they're driving me crazy with that balloon-rubbing sound, shoving them in my face ( I hate the smell of latex ), and it's making. me. crazy.

2. Ads for all that 'magic' fitness equipment. Do you ever, ever, ever see anyone demonstrating it who isn't already completely fit? No. Why is that? Because they want you to think that if you buy this (insert thing here), you will have a six-pack and look like a Baywatch body double. And the same goes for that Zumba thing. I've got friends who love it, who swear by it - but I'm pretty sure I'd feel like an absolute idiot in a Zumba class. But my beef is this. They don't show a room full of overweight people sweating grunting and swearing, falling over themselves. They show skinny people having a ripping good time, like they're at a nightclub. Because why would you buy into it if it didn't look like fun?

3. Repeating myself. I do this a lot. I've got children. It's normal. But it makes me feel a bit crazy when I have to say for the fifth time this morning "Get out of the cot!" Just once in a day, I'd really love it if I gave an instruction and it was followed for the rest of the day.

4. Sleep. How do you teach children to stay in bed (or at the very least in their room) until 7am?
Seriously, every morning at 6am, my children wake up and instantly want breakfast. I am just not running at 'Warp Ten' as soon as my feet hit the floor. I'm kind of slow-starting. And they are not.

5. My mattress completely sucks. It provides very little support, and I wake up Every. Single. Morning with an aching back. We bought it from IKEA because we got an IKEA bed, and it was easier to buy it at the same place. But I wish we'd held out for a better one.

Having gotten all that off my chest, I'm going to try now and find something positive about each of those points.

1. Balloons. Hmm. They're pretty? And the joy they bring to my children (the first two, anyway - the third can't have them because of the latex thing) is undeniable. That is a beautiful thing.

2. Fitness equipment. Sorry, I think it's silly to re-invent the wheel. Less in, more out, and move, move, move. I am always looking for a quick fix, an easier way. In the end, I can lift shopping bags full of groceries, walk around my house, take the dog for a walk, park further away, take the kids to the park, do yardwork, or any number of other things that will burn more calories than sitting on my backside watching television (or 'internetting'?). I can choose to cook healthier options, rather than hitting up the local takeaway shop. I have the same amount of time given to me in a day as everyone else who seems to 'fit it all in'. How am I spending it? If I just 'don't have time' for exercise, then perhaps I need to evaluate what else I'm spending time on. Just my thoughts, and no judgement here.

3. I got nothing. No ideas other than to persevere. It's hard, and that's that. The rewards will come later on, but they will be there.

4. I am extremely thankful that I have such healthy, energetic children. And it is kind of cute that they bounce out of bed in the morning. I wish it was contagious!

5. I am thankful for having a mattress at all. It's served me faithfully through two pregnancies, for four and a half years now. The hindsight will prove valuable when it's time to buy a new one. Don't settle for a cheap one, save up for the best one you can buy - it will be so worth it.

Thanks for listening!
XO, Sarah

Mother's Day

2011-05-07T08:32:00.003+10:00

I have two mothers. First, there's the woman who gave birth to me, and for the first 19 years of my life, was the only mother I knew. Her part in my story isn't finished, though she might pretend otherwise. I hope and pray for reconciliation between us, but that is entirely up to her.

Then there's the woman who became my mom when I was 20. The woman who had many 'bathroom chats' with me, about life-altering decisions. Don't ask me why they always occur in the bathroom, they just do. She taught me to drive. She's the mom who walked down the aisle with me when I got married the first time, the one who was there for me when it all fell apart. The one who traveled to Texas to help me start rebuilding my life. The one who was generous enough to open her home (and heart) to my new boyfriend (and now husband!), and was there to celebrate my marriage to him. She was there to celebrate with us when we fell pregnant the first time, and a short time later, she dried my (many) tears when I lost the babies. She was there to dry my hair when I was baptised. She was there when we moved to Texas, and again when we moved back. She was there when we fell pregnant again, and again when we were told we'd had a second miscarriage. She was there for us when we moved overseas. She was there when we called to tell her that I hadn't miscarried after all, and was in fact still pregnant. She was there in spirit when I delivered my firstborn. And again when I fell pregnant, and again when I delivered the second. And when my father died, she was there for me even in the midst of her own grief. Because of her love, I no longer feel like an orphan in this world. She may not have given birth to me, but she has been a mother to me in all the ways that matter. She was there for me again when I called to announce yet another pregnancy, and another birth. She was there for me when I called to tell her of yet another pregnancy, and she totally understood my fears and misgivings, and at the same time encouraged me greatly. We may be separated by half the globe, and we don't talk nearly as much as I'd like to, but it doesn't diminish my feelings for her. She is my mother, my friend, my confidant. She 'gets' me. She is amazing, and I love her enormously. My favourite Mother's Day with her was one where we spent the entire day together, shopping, talking, eating, laughing, and polished it off with a movie.

I love both of my mothers, though one has chosen to reject my love. And I won't lie, that hurts. But it doesn't wreck the joy I feel at having such a terrific 'other mother'.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

Maybe I DID mess it up...

2011-05-04T06:26:00.002+10:00

But I'll keep writing anyway.

I'd signed up for this writing challenge, to post once a day - and because of the time difference, I messed it up and missed a day. Oh well. It's not like I don't have enough to keep me busy, after all!

And really, since I walk around composing things in my head non-stop (what? Don't you ALL do that?), it's not like I haven't been writing - just haven't put fingers to keyboard.

Back to Bible study today, hooray!!!

Now off for a cup of tea and some breakfast. Catch you later!

XO,
Sarah

Maybe it is too much...

2011-05-03T06:24:00.002+10:00

But It is my family, and at this point, you don't get to decide how many babies we have.

I may not have wanted this child before, but I'll fight anyone who says he or she shouldn't be born because the world is overpopulated enough.

Maybe it will be hard - and maybe it won't.

Maybe the birth will be hard - and maybe it won't.

Maybe we'll have a boy - or maybe a girl.

Maybe this, Maybe that.

In the light of reality, all those 'maybes' don't matter to me.

The reality is that this child is here, he or she is loved, wanted, and cherished, and today, that's enough. I refuse to worry about 6 months from now. It's pointless.

And maybe, just maybe, that's the way it's supposed to be.

XO,
Sarah

Maybe

2011-05-01T15:18:00.003+10:00

May be.

I hope that May will be a month of gratitude. Of waking up each morning and thanking God for every single thing in my life. From the breath in my lungs, to the smell of wet dog in my bathroom. From the little people who call out "Mooom, come wipe my bottom!?!?", to the sound of my baby 'talking' to her toy squeaking chick. From the desperate hunger for fast food that turns into nausea when I actually eat it. From the sun rising, to the moon which takes its place. That I would be more aware of the world around me, and more thankful for it. That I would SEE more, FEEL more. BE more, and DO less. That I would notice small things, and appreciate them as big.

Thanks for listening,
Sarah

Surprises, Trusting God, and just the next thing

2011-04-25T09:14:00.004+10:00

I've been strangely quiet, and I've got a very good reason. About a month ago, we received a massive surprise, and it's taken this long to wrap our brains around it.

Yes, that's right. Pregnant. Again. As my friend Heather said once, "Good Googly Moogly!" I could have fainted right there in the toilet. I don't know what it is with me, public toilets, and positive pregnancy tests, but I'm starting to believe that maybe you CAN get pregnant from toilet seats??? Just kidding.

The truly ironic thing is, I was only taking a test to make sure I was clear for my contraceptive injection later that week. I'd gone to the chemist, dropped off the prescription, grabbed a test, and ducked out to the toilet next door. The irony of having to explain to the chemist that you don't need that script after all, while your two oldest children are racing in circles around the shop, squealing gleefully and alternatively, ripping apart a jelly bean display - is unmistakable. The lovely woman offered me a drink of water and a seat, because I think I was pale as a sheet.

This was so not on our radar. We really felt a sense of completion after M was born. We really didn't want another child.

And yet...

The second this became the new reality, I have never wanted a baby as much as I want this one.

Am I scared? Absolutely. M's birth just all but destroyed my lady parts. I've still got ongoing complications related to that debacle. Four children? We need a bigger car, can we afford it? Where will we put all these children? Boy? Girl? I'll have a kindergartener, a preschooler, a toddler, and a newborn next year. I'm supposed to host the family Christmas this year! I've not even fully recovered from having M. And so on, and so on.

And yet...

This baby may not have been part of our plan. But he or she was part of God's plan. And that is enough for me. He or She is a blessing from the Lord, pure and simple. I praise Him for all my children, no matter how 'convenient' it might be. I trust in His plans, which are infinitely better than my own.

As for the question of how I will cope? I read on a blog - and I wish I could remember where - that a mother of several young children who was at the supermarket checkout was asked the same question - "How ever do you manage??", to which she thoughtfully replied "I just do the next thing". And it's stuck with me. If I start to go down the worry path, I lose sight of the immediate blessing that this is. If I open that door marked "Tomorrow", I forget to enjoy today.
So today, I am going to enjoy my husband, my three beautiful girls, and the little one growing in my womb.

XO,
Sarah

The Rhythm of My Life

2011-04-19T11:52:00.003+10:00

We've been back from camping for over a week, and it's taking a while to get settled back in. It's school holidays, so I haven't had quite as much freedom to write a blog post here and there. We've also been dealing with some stuff, more on that at a later date. Quickie update on the family: L: Feverishly working in the garden, preparing for his parents to come live here. Me: Insanely busy, been a bit tired (thank you, anemia!). I made some bagels the other day, and they were so good that we ate all twelve. Fresh from the oven, with cream cheese - it transported me back in time, to when I was a kid and would go with my dad to this place called "The Valiant Trencherman", where they had amazing bagels. I am also trying to design a new sleeve for my travel coffee cup - I'm not a computer whiz though, so it's a bit challenging. C: Has been randomly 'mooning' me, and however non-parental it might be, I laugh so hard I can't tell her that it's inappropriate. P: Is now officially toilet trained, and quite chuffed with herself. Is also possibly going through a bit of a jealous phase with M. M: Has three teeth, is sleeping through the night, and is just generally happy and contented. Now we're getting ready to go up to L's parents' place for Easter weekend, which means that I am woefully behind on laundry if I ever expect to have enough clothing for the weekend. :-) XO, Sarah

Annual Camping Trip

2011-04-02T08:20:00.002+11:00

We're busily packing up for our camping trip, and I needed a little break. I don't know if you've ever packed for camping with three children, but I couldn't do it without lists. Lots and lots of lists. The way I do it is to work through a typical day in each child's life, from sunup to sundown, and list everything they might need. Clothes, bedding, toiletries, accessories (potty seat), a few assorted rainy day activities, things for eating, and anything else I may have missed. Then there are the lists for things like food, first aid, miscellaneous (phones, camera). And toys for the baby. And nappies, and wipes, and laundry detergent, and so on and so on. Five people require a lot of kit for 8 days of 'roughing it'. Seeing as that 'lot of stuff' won't pack itself, I'll keep moving, and hopefully get all the children's things packed before they get back from running errands. :) Oh, and two big milestones in our house: M is crawling!! P is officially potty trained!!! Some celebrations are in order for this week, don't you think?? See you next week, Sarah

Any advice?

2011-03-27T09:34:00.004+11:00

I believe Miss M has a latex allergy. A bit of history:

When she got her 4 month immunisations, she had marks on her thighs for two weeks from the bandaid. Right around the time she started rolling over and sleeping on her stomach, she began waking up with puffy, red mouth, cheeks, and eyes. I didn't make any connections at the time, but instead thought that perhaps it was because I was eating a lot of nuts, so I cut all nuts out of my diet, but with no real improvement in her skin. She was happier and had much less wind/gas, but her skin seemed to be in a constant state of redness, peeling, and in some cases, weeping. I tried a new kind of nappy, and that night she woke up screaming, her whole body was bright red, her eyes were swollen, and I didn't know what to think. I went back to the old nappies, replaced her rubber sheet with a towel, and she improved dramatically. I began to notice that if she wears clothing with exposed elastic, she breaks out everywhere the elastic touches. When she started solids, she broke out after trying both avocado and banana, both recommended 'first foods' for infants. Yesterday, she played on a foam alphabet puzzle mat for a while, and last night her skin was angry, red, and splotchy all over her body. So it seems reasonable to deduce that she has a latex allergy. Except that given her age, there's no way to confirm it. Skin prick testing isn't done on children under two years of age. I can't use antihistamines in case of accidental exposure, because she's too young. I honestly am not sure of what to do here. I can to some degree control her environment, but there are so many products out there which contain latex, some of which I wouldn't even think twice about. Manufacturers aren't required by law to list latex as an allergen, so the only way to find out is to call the manufacturer directly. I'm making an appointment with our family doctor for some advice, but in the meantime, how do I control her external environment? I don't want to be over the top, but the reaction seems to be getting worse/more immediate each time. So do I start stocking up on latex-free bandaids and gloves, and create my own allergy management plan, for when she's in the care of others?
Do I tell the doctor when we visit that she's allergic to latex? When I took her for her 6 month immunisations, I requested no bandaids, and explained a bit - they were happy to comply with that. Because she's not crawling yet, I haven't been through the toys and evaluated them for safety, but I'm considering going through them and removing all toys that could contain latex, as well as separating out appropriate toys just for M, and putting them into a special container.

Gah. Allergies stink. If we're not managing nut allergies, it's dust. And now this.

Thanks for listening (reading).
XO,
Sarah

Generic family update

2011-03-25T08:03:00.006+11:00

Because I'm having a hard time putting my thoughts to paper, (or web page) I'll just give a quick update on the fam.

L - fighting to get his university assignments finished before we go camping. Two down, one to go. Suffering from chest infection, to the point that he actually visited the doctor yesterday.

Me - Tired. Busy. Mentally organising myself and three girls to go camping. Woke up this morning with an insane urge to spring (autumn??) clean my bedroom. Removed curtains, washed them, swept all cobwebs and spiders from cornices, wiped wardrobe doors with a soapy cloth, changed bedding, vacuumed (under bed?!?), cleaned windows, and dusted everything horizontal. Not sure what's up with that, but our room is nice and clean, and much more of a haven now, as opposed to a lost home for random items and dust bunnies.

C - absolutely my favourite four-year old on the planet. Has progressed to saying, when disciplined or scolded, "Don't you love me anymore?". Yeah. Wasn't ready for that one at all. Thankfully, I can always answer "Of course I love you - that's why I won't let you behave this way". Still not sure if that makes her feel any better, but it feels like the right thing to say.

P - in potty training mode, and also I think she's giving up naps. Sporadically, at least. It seems to help with the bedtime circus that often happens in their room between the hours of 7pm and 830pm. :) Eats non-stop, and has the most insane "mischief making" laugh - you can't help but smile when you hear it.

M - despite her wild and crazy entrance into this world, is by far my easiest child. We (and by we I mean I) have managed to shift her into a workable routine that works for the whole family, and within two days of implementing it, she started sleeping through the night. Unbelievable. She is such a happy baby, and seriously - rarely cries. I think I've gotten better at 'baby-speak', and so head off crying before it has a chance to happen. Seems to be allergic to latex, as well as avocado and banana. Also seems to have eczema, but at this point, I'd be startled if she didn't.

And in a nutshell, that's what's happening in our family. I've been sort of struggling to write lately, not quite sure what to put out there. I've been reading lots of good blog posts, and feeling very inspired in some areas, especially the homemaking front. Though when I'm feeling tired, as though all the life has been sucked away, I have to force myself to work five minutes at a time - I even use the timer on my phone to help me, just to get something, ANYTHING accomplished. It's a simple trick, but it's also often just enough to get me over that hump and off the lounge.

Not much else to share for today, and because it's 'Ladies' Day' here at our house (L is off working at the voting place), I need to get off the 'puter and sit with my girls. :)

XO,
Sarah

And now the remote is missing

2011-03-17T11:52:00.002+11:00

No really, it's vanished. I remember having it Tuesday night, to watch NCIS. After that? I'm blank.

And apparently I also have lost the ability to read a calendar, because I scheduled a preschool class playdate for Tuesday the 21st. Go ahead, I'll wait for you to consult your calendar, which I clearly did not do. Yeah. After two of the other parents said to me today "I can't do Mondays" I thought "but it was supposed to be Tuesday?". Checked my phone, and sure enough - Tuesday is the 22nd.

Yesterday I lost (temporarily) our house key, and spent a frantic 15 minutes locked out and searching the car for it.

Must go and finish this coffee to wake up my brain.

Y'all.

2011-03-14T07:39:00.004+11:00

Last week kinda kicked me in the chops, yeah? Nothing out of the ordinary, but it was just one of those weeks. We had some good times, but I'm glad to be on this side of last week!

Something that resonated with me last week was that I have this amazing camera, and I live in such a beautiful place, and I have such ridiculously cute kids, yet I almost never take photos.

I live in a place that looks like a postcard. Seeing it through the eyes of someone who's never been here, it looks pretty spectacular. Things that I pass by and don't see every single day, to someone else would be breathtaking.

So... I'm making a new page, which will hopefully be updated twice a month, with photographs of places and things I've seen here in Australia. Since the page really isn't meant to work like a regular one, I'll put a post up on the main page (in the living room, if you like) telling you it's up, and then you can just click on over to the other page (the gallery?). If you feel like commenting, just do it on the main post.

I've got some other plans for the blog, including a regular segment on what I'm reading, but that may take a while - I'm kind of busy these days.

I read this post (and I don't remember where it was!) but it left me with this thought that hasn't gone away. I want to be an author. I want to be an official, paid, published author. It's a dream of mine, and all too often, I laugh it off as being an impossible dream. Reading this post made me realise that it doesn't have to be impossible. Hard? Probably. Will it take a long time? Given how long it takes me just to drink a cup of coffee, more than likely. But not impossible. I believe in a God who laughs at the impossible. And writing is something I feel passionate about. My grammar leaves a lot to be desired, but I am passionate about two things (not counting my family here, because they are people and not things) - reading, and writing.

So. That's my big dream - what's yours?

XO,
Sarah

No need to apologise

2011-03-09T14:05:00.003+11:00

I love my children, and I won't apologise for that.

When I had C, and breastfeeding began to not go so well, I didn't even try to persevere. Partly because I didn't realise I could, but also because I didn't really enjoy it. We never got to that blissful stage, when they look up at you with a milky, dreamy grin. It simply wasn't pleasant. And I felt that it was far better for her to have a mum who wasn't tense and grumpy every time she needed a feed. So we switched to a formula, and I carried the weight of all the requisite guilt. That I was somehow a failure, that I didn't love her enough, etc.

When I had P, we struggled the entire time. She wasn't thriving, and looking back at the photos, I can see that easily. But I pushed on out of some twisted need to prove to myself and to the world that we could DO this. When my mental health took a nosedive, and I finally admitted that she was not thriving, I switched to a formula, and within a week she was more content, more responsive. And yet, despite seeing the positive changes in our family, I still carried guilt. And felt the need to explain in great detail to anyone why we had made this decision. I think I even blogged about it.

With M, I was absolutely determined to make it to 12 months. We started out a bit rocky, but with a birth like that, it wasn't going to be easy! We soon settled into a lovely breastfeeding relationship, and I was finally getting that special blissed out milky grin from my child. She would gently stroke me with her free hand, and I was thrilled to be able to satisfy her hunger, and provide comfort. We even made it through the first teeth, which is a milestone that I never reached with the other two.

And then she started growing up, and becoming aware of the world around her. I was no longer her whole world. And feeding became not so blissful. It became - at times - something to dread. And she got dehydrated. Yet I was confident we could pursue. I took supplements, drank a camel's weight in water, and yet my supply remained low. The daytime feeds were impossible. The nighttime feeds were (and are) still lovely and peaceful.

What was the answer?

I wrestled with it, and realised that the reasons I was so desperate to continue to 12 months had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with me. I was out to prove something to myself, to the world.

The reasons to use (for as long as it lasts) mixed feeding had everything to do with her, and nothing to do with me.

For us, the answer lay in a tin of formula. I started supplementing during the day, continuing to take supplements and drink plenty of water to maintain a supply for the nighttime, but during the day, when things are chaotic, it is better for everyone if she has a bottle. And for the first time, I have no regret, no guilt, no doubt. She is healthy, contented, and happy. I've got happy memories of breastfeeding to cherish, and I am better able to care for and enjoy my whole family. I love them, and would sacrifice anything for them. Even breastfeeding.

And for that, dear world, I do not apologise.

XO,
Sarah

A Tortoise Kind of Day

2011-03-04T08:24:00.003+11:00

It's 8:25. Preschool starts at 9. The kids aren't dressed, lunches aren't packed, and the baby is sound asleep. And I'm sitting here, having a quiet moment. Probably sounds like an epic time management fail. It isn't. I'm intentionally taking some time this morning to just go slowly. So often, I'm rushing everyone out the door, creating stress, friction, and tension, which can't possibly be a healthy start to the day. So this morning, I got up, and snuggled with my older two babies under the quilt, made up a rhyming prayer for the mornings, and began teaching it to them as we waited for the sun to wake up with us. Then we wandered (okay, I stumbled - I hadn't had coffee yet) out to the kitchen, got some breakfast, and the kids got to watch some cartoons while I had my coffee, fed the baby, and now here I sit. Giving my day to God, whose plans are infinitely better than mine, and praying that I too will take the prayer I taught them this morning to heart.

As we go along our way,
Guard all we do, and think, and say.

M still slightly dehydrated, but still amazingly active and chatty. Feeding going a bit better.

C and P are both really tired, but we'll press on.

I've been feeling the effects of poor nutrition, dehydration, and too much busy-ness. I'll go and go, then all of a sudden my whole body just stops, and things like eating are too exhausting. My limbs grow heavy, and I feel as though I'm moving through cake batter. Every movement requires great effort, and I can't keep my eyes open. So I've been trying to do a bit better at looking after myself, because playing the martyr doesn't do anyone any favours, hey?

What's going on in your world(s) today?

XO,
Sarah

Just when you think you've figured it out...

2011-03-01T12:19:00.003+11:00

You find out you haven't even come close.

So M is dehydrated, because my milk supply is abysmal, because with three children 4 and under plus a house to run, and a puppy to manage, who has time for things like sleep, food, and water? Except that if I want to continue with breastfeeding (and I really do this time!), I have to make time for those things.

Sigh. It looks like I'm going to have to let go of some things until we get back on track. And rest more. Like right now, with all three kiddos asleep/in bed, would be a fantastic time to do that. It doesn't matter (say it with me) if the house isn't perfect before I go to bed. Health code-compliant is good enough. At least for now...

More Renovations

2011-02-27T20:00:00.004+11:00

Though this project is likely to take a long time, since we're doing it in stages. We were putting it off indefinitely, but as our oven died before Christmas, and we got a floor model instead of a wall oven, we (I mean L) had to rip out the wall oven and break down the wall it was in. So. The photos below are what we started with:

Those are brown and yellow tiles in the background. And a custom made copper range hood that requires much more cleaning than I have time to do. It's not been cleaned in about 30 years, I'd wager.

Bottom half of wall oven. And yes, that's carpet. In the kitchen. Ewww?

Breakfast table/junk magnet attached to the end of the bench.

It's hard to describe if you haven't seen it in person. It's special. In a time-warp kind of way.

The first thing we (again, I mean L) did was to rip out the carpet. Well, chisel it off. Oh, and L ripped out that breakfast table/junk magnet thing, as well as ripped out the supporting post. After that, L's dad tiled the kitchen, in a lovely pale latte-like colour. And that's as far as we got. Well, except for losing the two sets of vinyl backed drapes from the sliding glass door, and the cockroach motel roller blind/pelmet that was above the kitchen sink.

And then we stopped - mostly because doing it all was going to be huge/expensive, and it was after all a functioning kitchen. Until just before Christmas, when the oven kicked the bucket.

When we were shopping for an oven, I said I didn't want one that was a wall oven, because I'm short and it just doesn't work for me. So we looked at standing oven/ranges, and found one that we were happy with, but this now meant that the whole cabinet space where the old oven dwelt had to be ripped out. Which means that the wall it was attached to was kind of affected. Which means that now we have to do the following:

1. tile the wall behind the oven (glossy white square tiles)

2. paint above the tile line (terracotta orange/red)

3. Buy the range hood (have chosen it, just have to order it)

4. Have the electrician come and install the oven / install the gas line for the range/wire in the range hood

5. peel off brown laminate from front of pantry/plaster and paint surface.

And that's only the beginning, the bits required to have a working oven again.

So it's going to be a while, but you know something? I'd rather take 10 years and get it right, than to do it quickly and settle for something I don't love. I spend a lot of time in that kitchen. A. Lot. Of. Time. In the meantime, it will clash horribly, and since I have no drawing to go by, others won't be able to see the finished project the way I can in my mind. Hope they can trust me?

XO,

Sarah

Why does this always happen on Friday night??

2011-02-25T21:41:00.002+11:00

So the kids were in the tub, and I went in to get them out. C stepped up on the edge of the tub (not a completely flat edge, as it was designed for a shower door), as she's done a million times, like I've told her NOT to do, and jumped down to the floor. Spectacularly unsuccessfully, I might add. Her feet slipped out in front of her, and her whole upper body slammed down on the tiles. The sound of her beautiful head hitting the floor was sickening.

Several reasons I hate this type of scenario are:

1. It's Friday night, and the local hospital has no x-ray tech on duty. THis means we have to go to the other hospital, 30 minutes away, where we'd likely sit for hours and hours.

2. She was pretty tired, but honestly - it's day 3 of preschool, and she went for a long bike ride after that.

3. She said she was fine, but I suspect that she didn't want to go to the hospital because they'll give her 'yucky' medicine.

4. It always makes me doubt whether I've made the right call. My initial reaction was to take her to hospital straight away, but L convinced me that she'll be okay.

She didn't lose consciousness, and it doesn't seem to be abnormally swollen, or even tender - she let me feel the back of her head without any fuss. Her eyes are a bit bloodshot, but she was crying pretty hysterically, so I'd expect that. I can only hope that she remembers this and doesn't do it again?

Prayers would be appreciated, we'll be watching her over the next couple of days. I'll let you all know if she's okay.

XO,
Sarah

First in, Best Dressed

2011-02-24T12:44:00.003+11:00

There's something to that expression, though my interpretation ~~may be~~ probably is different than the original.

If I give God the very best of me, my days go so much better. And even when they don't, I lose my cool far less often. I am clothed in the full armour of God, and that's as well-dressed as anyone can hope to be!

If I give God the last of me, like in the 30 seconds before I go to bed as an afterthought, my days tend to be awful. Truly awful. Well, not like Sodom and Gomorrah awful, but relatively speaking, it's not pretty. Think 'before' on an episode with Trinny and Susannah.

I'm on day 3 of praying with my children in the morning, and reading them a bible story (though it tends to bring up questions that I'm not sure how to explain in a relevant manner), and through praying with them, praying for them, I find that I'm getting better at praying in general. I am also 'losing it' far less often, which is something I'm incredibly thankful for.

It's not like God doesn't know that I need an extra measure of patience, or anything like that. But it's almost like when I'm watching my two year-old attempt to do something difficult, and I know that if I offer help before it's asked for, she'll flip out and scream "I do it MYSELF!!!". So I calmly wait, knowing that eventually she will ask. Do you think God is like that? Just waiting for me to ask Him for help? Waiting for me to come to Him in prayer? Waiting on my stubborn heart to admit that I'm not a superhero and I can't do it all?

And while I can't do it all, I should probably do something while I've got two sleeping children. Like laundry, or making beds. :-)

XOXO,
Sarah

Armour of God, Homemaker-style

2011-02-22T08:51:00.005+11:00

Armour of God. Ephesians 6:11 - ???.

The last couple of days, I've been reflecting on that particular passage, and how it translates to my daily life.

Breaking it down into pieces, it goes like this:

Belt of Truth: Without spending time in God's word, without clothing myself in His truth, I'm not surprised that my spiritual pants are saggy.

Breastplate of Righteousness: Mine kinda looks more like a clean shirt than a breastplate, but I can tell you that when I got dressed this morning, I had praise in my heart.

Shoes of Peace: Again, mine are more like sneakers, but I'm not surprised that we haven't had a peaceful household, because I tend to forget this one almost every day. Not today though, and it's showing!

Shield of Faith: I confess. Mine is an apron. But when I put it on in the morning, I call it a shield, and as I tie that shield around my waist, I pray for a stronger faith, for a more childlike faith, for faith that will shield me from all the flaming arrows (tantrums, bickering, whingeing) the Enemy can shoot at me.

Helmet of Salvation: I am ashamed to say, (and I can't take credit for this phrase, I'm borrowing it from a pastor of mine) that I am a Christian streaker. Meaning simply, that I tend to put on the helmet and leave the barracks, so to speak. I forget to put on the WHOLE suit of armour, giving me minimal protection.

Sword of the Spirit: Even more ashamed to say that I all too often forget to pick up my sword. I'm considering taking my favourite wooden spoon and putting Ephesians 6:11 on the handle.

As for praying always? Sigh. With three little angels all wanting a piece of this 'mommy pie', I can barely remember my own name, let alone carve out time to pray. Except that I can, if I lose all expectations of a perfect 'prayer time'. God knows how busy I am. He knows my heart. So if my prayers consist of talking to Him while simultaneously feeding my baby, and praying for my family while the children are bouncing on my bed in the morning, or taking a decade to choose their clothes, or my husband is asking me if there's any lunch for him, and the dog is doing dog things, then I truly believe that He will honour my efforts. I have to keep making the effort, no matter what it may look like. Because in this season, that is my life. Kids, dog, packing lunches, broken sleep, dirty dishes, preschool, Bible study, church, finger painting, meals, and laundry. It's just where I'm at, and I need to perform each of those tasks in a spirit of thanksgiving and prayer.

So that's what I've been thinking about the last couple of days. Maybe I'm completely off the rails with this, but the fact that I've had a much more peaceful start this morning tells me that there might be something to this.

XO,
Sarah

Morning thoughts

2011-02-21T08:18:00.004+11:00

I am me, which is okay.

Though I could lose the temper tantrums (mine, not the kids') and I wish I were better at being a Christian, and I also wish I was the sort of mother who loves cooking and doing craft with her children. I'm not for the record. I find it extremely stressful, and it requires that I eat loads of chocolate (in secret) afterwards. But I digress.

I love my family. Imperfectly. But I have a heart that desperately wants to serve them and love them, and I hope that God honours that, and not my mistakes. Which are plentiful.

I want so much to be the woman God has created me to be. Not perfect, but better. More.
I want to wake up every morning saying "Good Morning, Lord! " instead of "Good LORD it's morning?!?"
I want to have praise in my heart and on my lips. I want to clean up spilled Sultana Bran and Rice Bubbles with a smile, because it won't be long before there are not spills to clean up.
I want so desperately to actively seek God continually, so that there is never a moment when I feel a distance between us.

And I fail. Often, and spectacularly. But I love that I hate that I fail. And hating that failure makes me get up, ask for forgiveness from those around me, and most importantly, from my Creator, and try again.

Now, if you will excuse me, I've got to go put on my 'uniform' , feed my baby, and start this day over. Again.

XOXO,
Sarah

Well hello there...

2011-02-14T12:07:00.005+11:00

Long time no see. Mostly because all I have time for these days is a quickie status update on Facebook - not much time for writing an entire post!

What have we been up to? Well, preschool started again, and I have to say that the new days are working much better for us. It ties in with our other activities, giving us two days of staying at home and not going out.

C is loving preschool, of course - even if she's absolutely knackered by the end of the week. She's really growing up so quickly. She plays pretend games now, like playing teacher. She is also more communicative about things she's learned there, or things that she's done.

P is loving having me to herself (or mostly, anyway). We go to the library, which she really enjoys, as well as going to Bible study, and next term there's playtime. She's not exactly enthused about potty training anymore, though she doesn't have a tantrum when I put undies on her either. I call it progress, even if we do change clothes 5 times a day.

M has teeth now, and this week we're going to try her out with some rice cereal - she's been grabbing for my food, and eyeing up my coffee for a few weeks now, so we'll see if she's keen. She kindasorta slept all night last night, or at least until 4:30 in the morning. I'm not really in a hurry, especially since I get to watch Lord of the Rings movies as much as I want. It's kind of my go-to movie, you know?

We brought another member into our family, an 8 week-old puppy, who is now known as Cino (like cappuccino). He's a labrador/beagle cross, though it's anyone's guess as to how much beagle or how much labrador. I can tell you that he wakes up with the sun like he just HAD a triple-shot cappuccino, and that he really, really, really loves to be with the people. We start puppy school this week, so prayers would be good. Truthfully, he's pretty easy to look after, and I did get gates for the kitchen out of it... The trickiest part is teaching the girls how to behave around him. C is pretty good, though she tends to tell him NO if he so much as sniffs in her general direction. P on the other hand, tends to shriek and jump when he sniffs her, which makes him play a bit harder, until she's howling in outrage, and he's pulling on her clothes. He especially goes for her nappies for some odd reason.

Me? I'm settling into term, finding my domestic groove. Volunteering to be the parent coordinator for C's class at preschool, which will help me in learning who some of the other families are. Beginning to think about some form of exercise, considering it's been over a year since I've done any at all. I really miss the boxing, so that will definitely be involved.

I've been struggling a bit with losing my temper. I know that the best way to teach the children to behave is to set a good example, and I really want to do that, but it's hard, my friends. And you know something? I think it's supposed to be that way. If it seemed too easy, I think it would be a warning sign. Of all the parents I know, the ones I look up to the most are the ones who don't have all the answers all the time. Who admit to struggling with it all. Something in me recognises something in them, and I suddenly know that I'm not supposed to have it all figured out. That particular job belongs to God, and I think I'll leave it to Him. I've got enough on my plate anyway.

Oh, and one more thing - we got our new oven/stove, though it has yet to be installed. Our other one bought the farm before Christmas, and while it was kind of an experiment making pizzas on our barbecue, I'll be glad to have a proper oven back. Can you say celebratory lasagne, anyone???

Off to bed now, after a huge day. Tomorrow is the day we use to get ready for our week (which kind of starts on Wednesday).

XOXO,
Sarah

Creature of Habit

2011-01-30T10:04:00.003+11:00

I know I probably need to just lighten up already, but I've discovered that I am addicted to routine. Order, schedules, planning, etc. And given my penchant for 'all or nothingness', when I don't have the routine, order, and schedules, I tend to panic, and feel absolute despair. So that last post was written during the height of school holidays, when we have none of those things. But tomorrow starts the school term, and I'm feeling absolutely optimistic, encouraged, inspired, and excited about having structure back into our family life. But before tomorrow, we've got today - in which I have to recover from a month of no structure whatsoever. So if you'll excuse me, I need to go start the day (at 10am, no less) by making my bed.

XOXO,
Sarah

A Cry for Help

2011-01-20T10:19:00.004+11:00

I'm partly feeling sorry for myself, but honestly wanting advice here. It's about parenting. We are in a really hard spot right now, and I feel as though I'm getting it all wrong. My oldest two girls don't listen to me. At all. No, I mean they completely ignore every sound that comes out of my mouth. Forget following instructions, at this point I'd settle for acknowledgement of my existence beyond "Get me some juice". We had a disastrous shopping trip this morning, and I am feeling extremely discouraged. What am I doing wrong? They listen to everyone else in their life - they behave well for anyone else, except for me. It's so hard not to take it personally, when it feels so...personal. I don't know what the answer is, except to keep trying.
M isn't herself either. She's teething, and so isn't feeding properly, and she's had an allergic reaction to something - It could be a few different things, like latex, or peanuts (I ate some peanut butter the other day). So I feel like a failure there too - I mean honestly, all she needs from me is milk and clean pants, with some affection. And I've stuffed even those few things up.
I'm tired from broken sleep, irritable from being screamed at by children, weary from repeating the same instructions a hundred times, defeated by hearing "NO!" a thousand times a day, and generally just feeling like I'm never enough for anyone, no matter what I do. I'm ineffective in just about everything these days, and it feels awful. My goal for this year was to be a better steward of everything - and so far, it's an epic fail on all fronts.
I know that there are others facing far worse problems right now, but in this moment? I just feel absolutely shaken, defeated, and weak. Thankful for my life, but useless at managing it. Any suggestions on how to manage money, discipline, time, health, housework, with 3 children aged 4 and under are totally welcome. Prayers even more so. Or even just some chocolate would help a little.

XO,
Sarah

When did I stop caring?

2010-12-28T13:04:00.004+11:00

I really do believe that old adage "it's what's on the inside that counts". Pretty packaging is nice, but sometimes the nicest wrapping contains something awful. And vice versa. A plain brown box can contain the most wonderful gift ever. Having said that though, the world doesn't always operate that way. Most of the time, people take the first impression and run with it. Think about it, isn't it at least a little true?

When I met my husband, I was just shy of 30. I wasn't obsessed with my appearance, not by a long shot. But I knew which clothing looked nice on me. I wore makeup because it enhanced my natural beauty. I took care in getting dressed for the day. It made me feel really good, and my outside matched my inside.

Slowly, I let life creep in and rob me of all desire to groom. I've actually said all of the following, at one time or another:

Why bother putting on makeup? No one will see it anyway.
Why bother buying new clothes? They'll just get stained, ripped, or otherwise stretched.
Shopping is too hard - nothing fits my body properly.
I don't have the time to be fussy about my appearance.

Each of those statements, while true to some degree, is also false.

Even if I don't leave the house, my children and husband see me. And they are not "no one". And most days, I leave the house for something or other. Whether it's taking C to preschool, going to the grocery store, Bible study, or playgroup, other people do see me. And am I putting my very best out there? No way. I'm putting out an older, more tired version of me. I'm giving so much less of myself than there is to offer. Right down to the stretched, stained t-shirts and baggy, falling-down jeans.

While it is true that with three little people around, I do earn my fair share of stains, I could definitely do a lot more towards caring for my clothes - like taking care of them sooner rather than later. Too often, I get marked in the morning, and continue to wear it all day, then put the item in the wash, where it sits for a day or two, and by then, no stain remover in the world will get out whatever stain it is.

Shopping IS hard - I'm short, and a bit ... erm, round.I know clothing manufacturers have to cater to an average sampling of the population, which means that any pair of pants large enough to accommodate my curves are about ten inches too long. I am also a cheap shopper, and find it difficult to spend more than $10 on a single item. Which means that I'm limited to mainstream shops like Big W and Kmart, which are okay, but are limited to what's currently in fashion. Last year it was the 80s look - not flattering for me. The year before, it was bohemian, also not a good look for me. I think this year, it seems to be all about the empire waistline, which only makes me look pregnant. There is also the matter of breastfeeding to consider - all tops must be easy to manage, at least for the next 8 months or so. The point is, that with a bit of effort, and a good seamstress at the ready, It's possible.

Time- Ah, the bane of any modern mother. I say I don't have the time, but if I'm honest with myself, I really do. In my case, it boils down to this: laziness and poor time management. Harsh, but true. I choose to put other things first. My house might be clean, but I look a mess. My children have scrubbed faces and tidy hair, but I don't.

I haven't become superficial or shallow. I've simply become tired of the disconnect between my inside and my outside. That's what I want. To see photos of me, and recognise myself from the outside. To put the best of me on offer, for my family and friends, and to make the most of who God has created me to be.

XO,
Sarah

Busy

2010-12-12T13:11:00.001+11:00

I’ve been super busy the last month or so. Nothing out of the ordinary, just finding that oh-so-elusive rhythm to being a mother of three. Finding a balance in everyday life, making sure no one gets neglected, just normal stuff.

P has been teething, and can I just say it? Molars suck. My mother would be aghast to know that I’ve used that particular phrase, and more than likely my mother-in-law as well, but it truly fits. Picture in your mind, an angry hippo, with its mouth open in a howl. That is how she spends much of her day. Nothing is right, ever. And if it’s not a howl of outrage, then it’s wordless whining, indecipherable to me. I’d have better luck translating hieroglyphics than figuring out what it is that she wants (or doesn’t want) 99.9 percent of the time.

M is sick again, just another cold. Still, we’re very blessed as she is a ‘good’ baby. Only gets cranky between the hours of 5pm-8pm, and is otherwise quite happy and settled.

C is also sick, with a random cold. I gave her Dimetapp the other day, and Dimetapp – if you’re listening? Figure out a way to make your cough medicine taste like chocolate. Because that Great Grape flavour you bang on about? Isn’t fooling anyone. I’ve never tasted it, but based on the wrestling match I had with her yesterday, it tastes like battery acid mixed with rat poison, simmered in a pot of turpentine. For reals.

L and I got to go to a dinner/show the other night, it was an ABBA tribute band, and they played all my favourite songs. The keyboard player was hysterical, and the guitarist looked like Garth from Wayne’s World, but without the glasses. The food was really nice, and it was good to get out and pretend we were adults!

Today has been a bit of a challenge, but at least it’s not stifling hot – only 83 degrees, and 57% humidity today. And hooray, only 78 days until fall!

C is supposed to be singing in the carols by candlelight program tonight, dressed as a little angel – I don’t particularly want to go, but if we do decide to go, I’ll leave the other two children at home with Dad. It would be nice to spend some time alone with C, and there will be fireworks too, so I dunno.

Have all but finished the Christmas shopping – all that’s left is to find time to make all the handmade gifts, and finish wrapping them up. I love giving presents to people, and I love to cook as well – so giving edible gifts is perfect!

Gotta go, girls are playing with things they shouldn’t be.

XO,

Sarah

Primarily about eczema, but also a bit about other stuff

2010-11-24T14:40:00.000+11:00

No, really. On a scale of one to ten on my “pain in the butt-o-meter”, it’s a 10. Trying to figure out what works for each child, only to find out that the root cause is something completely out of my control, and realising that for the rest of the summer, the best I can hope for is to minimise their suffering, just plain bites. I can’t alleviate their suffering, only minimise it. Their sleep is all screwy, because we have to sedate them at night so they don’t scratch. They are miserable. My 4 year old begged me for Phenergan this morning. It’s vile tasting stuff, and she hates it – but she understands that it stops the itch. I have to be on them like stink on poo to make sure they don’t rip into their skin and claw themselves bloody. The second I turn my attention elsewhere, they’ve stripped off and dug in. Then they hate bath time, because the water stings the open wounds. A dear friend made some lightweight cotton pants for them, to help in covering the skin so they can play outdoors without sweltering. All the money we’ve spent on different preparations, special foods, paediatricians, naturopath, creams, potions, lotions, soaps, oils and the like – could fund their first year at university. To know that our current skincare regime does indeed work is great. Except that in summer, it’s not working. Because my children? Like to play outside. The only thing that HAS changed from winter, in which we had perfect skin, is that they are wearing fewer clothes, and playing outdoors. I haven’t changed soap, cleaning methods (or frequency), or anything else. It’s so obvious that the problem is not with what we’re doing. Except that we’re letting them play outside. Like when we went on holidays, and were rained in for most of the time – they weren’t itchy until the last night, which came after playing on a playground that had bark mulch. Am I wrong to let them play like regular kids? Because that’s what we’re down to. Either I let them play outside, which causes them agonising irritation, or I keep them indoors all the time, which robs them of a piece of childhood. Those are my options, and I don’t like either one.

Illness bites as well. Especially when you have two children who dote on their baby sister, and are seemingly incapable of doing so from a distance greater than TWO INCHES away. M has a whopper of a cold, and is making her first trip to the doctor tomorrow, courtesy of a lesson in sharing, given by her big sisters. To battle this particular challenge, we’ve smeared eucalyptus oil around the rocker where she currently sleeps (it’s a bit of an incline, so she’s not gagging on her own mucous) to help her breathe a bit easier.

C had her immunisations yesterday, and she was a champ. Didn’t even cry a little bit. Truth be told, she’s complained and whined more after the fact!

P is teething – a molar, I believe, and it’s a whopper. She’s pretty crabby about everything, and I can do nothing right. Her ankles are so raw and sore from the eczema that she doesn’t want to walk, and so has resorted to yelling at me until I pick her up and carry her. I sympathise with her, so I do carry her, but my back is aching! She’s in an almost constant state of whining – I hope this tooth finishes coming through soon, so she can at least not have that to deal with. Then she only has two more to go!

They’re sleeping at the moment, thankfully. And I- I am going to finish cleaning up the house and chasing the germs out. When I’m finished, germs will approach and then run screaming in the opposite direction. I’m that serious about my disinfectant processes.

XO,

Sarah

Baffled by the Old Testament

2010-11-07T10:28:00.003+11:00

I keep getting hung up on the kings. King of the Ammonites, King of Judah, King of Babylon, and so on. I just don't get how they're all connected, the relationships between them. Especially the King of Israel/King of Judah - I thought the tribe of Judah was part of the kingdom of Israel. So that's a bit confusing. But what I really don't get is how God (through Jeremiah) TOLD them what would happen if they left Judah and went back to Egypt. He told them they would be destroyed, and they went anyway. They didn't trust him, and they went their own way. Again.

Did you hear that? That's the sound of me heaving a great sigh. Because I just don't get it.

I'm trying to get back into the habit of starting my day with God's word. I think that's a vital first step towards finding this elusive rhythm for which I have been searching. Getting up at the same time each morning, having that little bit of time for reflection, I didn't realise how much I'd been missing it - even if I am reading the Old Testament! It puts me in a different head space, and I feel better equipped to face the day's challenges.

The other things I'm doing are:

Getting back to using my diary, to keep track of what we're supposed to be doing.
Preparing more things the night before - lunches, clothes, snacks, nappy bag, etc.
Not leaving dinner dishes for the next morning - I do this way too often!
Preparing dinner early, instead of in the evening.

What do you think? Do you have any other suggestions? How do you all stay focused and organised?

XO,
Sarah

Things I Love Thursday - cooking edition

2010-11-05T08:20:00.002+11:00

I love cooking. The pleasure I get out of rolling meatballs, or stirring a white sauce, assembling a tray of lasagne – it’s bliss. The other night, I was making a white sauce, and the beauty of watching it slowly thicken, swirling around the saucepan – it was so relaxing. And tonight, cooking zucchini, throwing in a sprinkle of bread crumbs, parmesan, garlic, until it tasted just so. Makes me feel good like nothing else. Finding the perfect pancake recipe – thrilling! Reading cookbooks, trying new things, re-inventing old things – to say I’m enthusiastic is beyond understatement. It’s a simple pleasure, but it truly is one of life’s greatest pleasures. Cooking for others is a massive display of affection. I tend to go overboard, especially for people I love. So if you’re ever over here for dinner, and you’re full to bursting, then just take comfort in knowing that you are loved. Wholeheartedly. To know that there is at least one thing today that I’ve done, and done well – that’s something I could love a whole lot. J For more things to love, head over to The Diaper Diaries and see what other people are loving!

XO, Sarah

What Will Work For Me?

2010-11-04T11:54:00.005+11:00

Partly inspired by yesterday's post about the ugly eczema monster, I've been thinking about being organised. See, I've never been organised consistently. I'll take a stab every now and again, but quickly fizzle out - and that frustrates me to no end. I long to be organised and efficient. As opposed to what I am at the moment, which is chaotic at best. I know it's only been two months since I had M, but I just feel so scattered. Like I'm just running around doing 15 things at once, and none of them properly. I'll get there, I'm sure. It's just that with different activities, medications, appointments, and it's time to feed this one, let me just put a load of washing on, and holy cow is it time for morning tea already I haven't even washed up the breakfast dishes yet! going on in my head all. the. time., I'm feeling a bit beleaguered.And I'm not even sure which way is up anymore. So what works for you all? Because I've got nothing. Well, maybe not nothing, but a small nugget of bright sparkly 'works for me' . Give yourself a break. Don't quit because you feel it's too hard. Do one thing. Just one small teeny tiny thing, and you're on your way to being organised. It doesn't matter what it is, just get up and DO IT. I'm off to We Are THAT Family for more Works For Me Wednesday inspiration, and then I'm off to find (and DO) my one teeny tiny thing. Happy Wednesday (unless you're here in Australia, where it's Thursday!)

XO,

Sarah

It's itchy season again...

2010-11-02T17:13:00.004+11:00

After an amazing eczema-free winter, I should have expected this. As the temperatures climb, and the girls have more skin exposed, and they are playing outside more often, their skin is gradually getting worse and worse. Sending me on a quest to fix it, when there isn't really anything I can do but treat it. We've gotten to a good place in management, and the cause is without a doubt external - it's not soap, laundry powder, or food-related. It's normal childhood, long happy days getting grubby outside. Sigh. C had a scratch-fest at preschool yesterday, and her teacher told me that it has to be covered up when the skin is broken and weepy. That's a bit of a pain, when you consider that if she wears jeans and long sleeves, she's hot (and itchy). If I bandage it, she'll be fiddling with it all day trying to scratch. If I give her antihistamines, her immune system takes a nosedive and then she's got preschool bugs and will pass it on to the rest of us. P had a scratch-fest yesterday as well, making her ankles bleed and weep. She's so affected that she's actually adapted her gait to accommodate tight, sore skin on her ankles. We gave them both a dose of Phenergan last night, in an effort to give them a night of sound sleep with no scratching, and at least that worked as intended. Evening Primrose oil works wonders, but isn't really practical for the daytime, as it will get all over the place instead of soaking into the skin. We opted for cortisone cream last night, it was that bad.
I'm a great mother - but their eczema makes me feel as though I'm not. Or makes me feel as though other people (strangers) might see it and think I'm neglectful, or careless. Which I'm so not - I've spent hundreds of dollars in special products to treat it, I've tried dietary restrictions, I've changed my detergents, soaps, and so on. And what we have at the end of it is two kids who are allergic to outdoors, who love the outdoors. And there's not a whole heck of a lot I can do but moisturise the daylights out of them, and try to minimise their discomfort, and pray that they will grow out of it.

XO,
Sarah

My little dirt angels

2010-11-01T16:22:00.005+11:00

I love this photo. On several levels. First, I love the blurriness of it, because to me it looks like one of those dream sequences. Combined with the light of the setting sun, it emphasises to me the fleeting nature of this particular moment. It makes their curls look almost like halos. Second, I love that they just look happy, for no other reason than the huge pile of dirt they're sitting on. Finally, this is my children as they truly are. Not all primped and polished, with matching outfits and perfectly groomed hair. This is what happiness looks like for them - filthy, skinned knees, grubbby hands and faces, wild hair, and a smile. I wish I had even a part of their imagination, which looks at a pile of dirt and sees so much more. It's times like this moment when I think I might burst, from loving them so much. Dirt and all.

XOXO,

Sarah

Fully Sick Weekend

2010-10-31T23:02:00.003+11:00

And by fully sick I mean that every single member of my family, including myself, came down with some kind of mystery illness. For the adults, this meant a complete and total lack of ambition to do anything for the majority of the weekend. For the kiddies, this meant an epic quantity of snot and crankiness. I think we're on the mend though, because late this afternoon, we were all out in the garden, planting flowers, and getting grubby.

Still have a huge headache, though. Could definitely do without that. Think I'll have some paracetamol and go to bed. After folding some clothes. And washing the dishes. And picking up the toys. Or maybe not.

XO,
Sarah

Things I Love Thursday - Handprint edition

2010-10-29T08:15:00.006+11:00

It's a blurry photo, but it's my bathroom mirror covered in handprints. Every day I clean it, and every night, at teeth-brushing time, C climbs up on the vanity, resting her hands on the mirror, insistent that she can do it herself. These handprints represent a growing sense of confidence and independence that warms my heart. Someday, they won't be there, and I'll miss them. So for now, I don't mind so much. In fact, as the title of this post indicates, I love them. What do you love today? To find out what others are loving today, visit The Diaper Diaries.

XO,

Sarah

Change of Plans

2010-10-28T08:37:00.003+11:00

So yesterday was a bit of a cracker. Emotionally, physically, and in all other ways. The high point was actually making it to Bible study. The low point was pretty low. L asked me if it was the PND returning, and I know that it wasn't. It was just a crummy day. I didn't make the Tomato and Lentil soup last night, and instead we had chicken and chips from Red Rooster, followed by bath time and bedtime for the girls. Tonight I think is the pizza, which should be good.

We've got nothing else on today, which is also good. C is snotty and feverish, and tired from restless sleep. P is fine, but will compete with C's whinge-tastic attitude nonetheless. Thanks to L's heroic efforts at cleaning the house last night, there's not much to catch up on, just normal stuff I do every day.

I'm starting to feel some semblance of order in our life, though the occasional crazy day can throw that out window. I find great comfort in predictability, as do many people. The flip side to that is when we do have a day like yesterday, it really throws me for a loop. I can't handle it.
Thankfully, God is gracious and, as in yesterday's case, threw me a lifeline.

You may have noticed, or maybe not, that I've stopped calling my husband and children by their names, and opted for using a letter. Because I want to share photos, and the primary audience already know their names, I wanted to preserve some level of privacy on behalf of my children especially, but also my husband. So I've begun going back through 400+ posts removing names. I'm not worried that someone will see photos of my kids, and come try and steal them, but I think in today's day and age, some reasonable caution is advisable. If my children were old enough to use the Internet themselves, I would want them to exercise caution insofar as the personal information they'd choose to reveal. Because I'm their mum, I'm choosing to do it for them.

Today, I have a massive pile of laundry that needs to be folded, and just keeping up with the things that are already done. Trying to keep the mess at bay, and looking after my beautiful babies, and not eating loads of rubbish (I'm looking at you, chocolate covered almonds!) in an attempt to stay sane. Oh, and I'd like to make a start of this week's Bible study, which begins with Exodus and ends with Deuteronomy. Yikes!

XO,
Sarah

It's Wednesday again...

2010-10-27T08:18:00.003+11:00

Time for the day-long festival of irrationality that is my C after two days of preschool. And her sister P who will compete with her, to see who can make mum say the craziest things. Just kidding, kinda sorta.

First of all, notes from the Pork Chimichangas:

Very tasty, a lot of prep involved, and for most people not a big deal. But I was chopping while either picking up little Miss M, or rocking her in her chair with my foot. Preparing dinner is for me, quite relaxing - if I have the luxury of being able to focus on that. Next, the assembly - my tortillas kept tearing and splitting when I tried to roll them up, and the filling kept spilling out. They were very tasty, as I said, but ended up being less like chimichangas and more like picadillo.I intended to serve it with sour cream, but my sour cream was frozen. I was not happy. It had cumin and paprika, garlic, and onion in it - it was a strong flavour, but not spicy. And the kitchen smelled fantastic! The girls tried it, but weren't huge fans. L loved it, as did I. And that's that.

Today all we've got on is Bible study. Truth be told, C is ratty and tired, but it's for that precise reason that Momma needs to get out of the house, and for me, Bible study is important enough to put up with a couple hours of rattiness. So, for the next 90 minutes, I will clean up the house, pack morning tea, and probably feed the baby as well, so that when we get home, I can plan the menu for next week and do the grocery shopping (I LOVE online shopping!), and arrange a delivery time for next week.

Which means that I need to get moving. Actually, I needed to get moving 5 minutes ago - story of my life these days...

XOXO,
Sarah

Trying some new things in the kitchen

2010-10-26T11:39:00.002+11:00

Last night was Mongolian Beef Stir-Fry. It was good, but the one thing about recipes I don't like is how they don't include all the preparation in their estimate of how long it will take to prepare. For example, last night's recipe gave a preparation time of 10 minutes. But that doesn't include the time it takes to chop and slice all the veggies and meat. it's 10 minutes if you already have all that part done. So it was more like 30 minutes, because I had to keep stopping to pick up the baby, in between chopping and slicing. It was worth it though, because that dinner was better than any takeaway I've ever eaten. Probably because it was prepared by my own hands. :)

Tonight is Pork Chimichangas. Again, something I've never made before.
Wednesday - Tomato and Lentil soup with Avocado Bites
Thursday - Potato, Mushroom, and Chorizo Pizza
Friday - Moroccan Chicken Rice

What about the children? Well, I don't expect them to eat anything spicy. So what I do is pull out elements of each meal if it's a spicy recipe, or if it's kind of mild but an unusual flavour. Otherwise, they'll usually at least try it out.

I'd better get moving, if we want to have enough time to fit everything in.

XO,
Sarah

In the zone

2010-10-20T15:17:00.006+11:00

You know that feeling, right? The one where absolutely everything is as it's meant to be, and you KNOW it? Yeah. I've got that. No matter how stressful it might be sometimes, I know in my heart of hearts that this is the first time I have felt truly passionate about what I do. Every day brings new inspiration. Yes, sometimes it also brings new frustrations - but life isn't about being 'up' all the time, is it? I am perfectly imperfect, striving each day to serve my family a bit better. And that desire, that honest intention, brings me to a place where I smile more, and take things a bit less seriously. At least I think so, anyway.

Highlights of the week

2010-10-17T17:44:00.005+11:00

Last Saturday, we had a proper date night. Organised by L, and it was perfect. We've rediscovered some romance, which we hadn't even realised was slowly disappearing. Now that we've found it again though, we've been working a bit harder to hold on to it. I got to have some lovely lie-in time on Sunday, which was desperately needed. Monday L had off work, so we went to do the shopping together - and it was nice to spend the day with him. Tuesday, the fruit delivery came and it was so yummy! Wednesday, I got a present in the mail - a cookbook from Ebay, published in 1975, which was volume one of a two volume set (I had the second book already). It's the sort of thing that would have been given to a new bride, I imagine. We also made it to Bible study on Wednesday, which was no small feat. It was good to be back. Thursday, the first of my birthday presents arrived - tickets to see Wicked! I actually squealed with delight, jumped up and down (big mistake, that!), and frightened my children. Good one, Mum! Friday, my new diary for next year arrived, and I had my first grocery delivery, which I was able to order online. Saturday, had a lovely day with the family, and got lots of laundry done (by done I mean it's clean and piled (unfolded) on the lounge), and had a relatively clean house. Sunday was the best birthday of my life, with a surprise present from the children (the Julie Goodwin cookbook), and a birthday cake baked by L and the girls. Today, it's been very quiet - I'm fairly certain that P has fallen asleep on the lounge room floor, so I probably should take advantage of two sleeping children and do some housework - or take photos of my sleeping angels. Preschool drop-off was good, although getting P to cooperate when leaving is a bit of a drama. Kind of missing C today, can't wait to pick her up this afternoon.

Best be going now, to get some things accomplished (other than blogging, that is!)

XO,

Sarah

She just wants to be like me

2010-10-14T11:45:00.003+11:00

It's such a comfort that in spite of our butting heads on a regular basis, C really does look up to me. She wants to wear my lipstick, chapstick, nail polish, maxi pads, and shoes. She wants to read my books, play with my things. She wants to be with me, near me, all the time. Not in a clingy way, but in a positive, I love you kind of way. It's hard to remember that when I simply want a moment's peace to shower, or go to the toilet, or have a cup of tea. But she really does love me, and hopefully, I'm giving her something positive to emulate.

XOXO,
Sarah

Yes, I do love Coles

2010-10-14T11:31:00.006+11:00

I don't draw enough attention to myself on this little blog to score any kind of attention from major companies - and that's okay. That isn't why I started this blog, so it doesn't matter. But that doesn't mean I can't tell you all when something is truly fabulous. Half of you are in the US, and some of you are in other countries, but for anyone from Australia who is reading this, I'd like to share my love of Coles supermarkets.

I used to be a Woolworth's gal. Not sure why, but I think it's just the first supermarket I went to in Australia, and so it stuck. I'd been to Coles, but it wasn't my preferred shop. Until the day it became my preferred shop.

First of all, I'm almost always shopping with small children. Sometimes one, sometimes three, but almost never alone. And as you can imagine, it's a challenge to find a trolley that works for any combination of children. Especially when they are nearly four, two, and brand new. In this respect, Coles comes up aces. They've got different variations of child-friendly trolleys, and our local shop keeps them all in the front of the store, easily accessible. I don't have to search high and low for one, except maybe during school holidays, when there seem to be more people (no preschool, perhaps?) shopping with small children.

Second - I went shopping once, and my oldest (nearly four) pulled a tray of avocados onto the floor. I was mortified, as anyone would be, but the gentleman nearby was so gracious and helpful, he immediately came to our rescue and said not to worry about it, and even asked if she was okay. On the same trip, I made an exchange, and when I came to the checkout, the young woman at the service desk told the cashier about it as soon as she saw me, before I'd even finished unloading my groceries. I was so floored by the level of service, that was the day I became a Coles convert.

Third - we're on a pretty tight food budget. And Coles makes it easy to stay in my budget. From many, many products that come in a store brand (and don't skimp on quality either!), to lots of fantastic specials, I am always able to stay within our budget, and cook really nice food.

Lastly, two words: Online Shopping. I just tried it today, and it was so easy. It's not available everywhere, but it's being offered here at the moment (please oh please continue the home delivery?), and for someone with three little people, it's a huge blessing to be able to do my shopping at home. It works well with the way we plan our menus, and having it delivered means I don't have to put three kids in the car, take three kids out of the car, wrangle them into the shop, spend an hour walking up and down the aisles with the baby strapped to my chest, saying approximately 100 times "keep your hands to yourself", get through the checkout, wheel the heavy-laden trolley to the car, and put the shopping and three kids in the car, drive home, empty the car, and collapse.

So, as the title indicates, I *heart* Coles!!! If you've never tried them, you really should!

Kmart challenge

2010-10-12T10:10:00.003+11:00

I'm not normally one for entering contests. But lately I've been feeling a bit "why not?", so when I got word of this special promotion from Kmart, and it involved two favourite hobbies of mine, shopping and blogging, I decided to throw my proverbial hat in the ring. Kmart has always come through for us, from our Christmas present shopping to clothes, household goods, and even a barbeque. We've never been disappointed with Kmart. The idea for this challenge is to use their flyer as inspiration to find items for me and my family for $20. That is a bit tricky - 5 people, divided by $20, is $4 per person. Can I do it? Absolutely, and here is how I did it:

For Dad's sweet tooth, there is a wide assortment of lollies on special for $1 each. Two bags of those at a dollar each will keep him going for a while.

For my neverending chocolate cravings, they have Cadbury chocolate bars (I'm kind of rubbish with metric, so 30-65g doesn't quite compute to a size in my brain) for $1 each. Given my love affair with Cadbury chocolate, this could be dangerous - but given that I'm on a budget in this instance, I'd make do with three of those, bringing total for me to $3. Enough chocolate for maybe a week if I'm good, a day if I'm not.

For my older two children, who have baths together, there is an adorable set of bath toys on special for $10. They have a habit of bringing random toys into the bath, which aren't designed for water, and then they get all gross. So proper bath toys are good that way.

For the baby, who really doesn't need anything yet, since she doesn't even realise her hands belong to her, there is a Bright Starts rattle and shake barbell for $5 - I've always loved those, but never bought one - and as the third child, she has her share of second (and third) hand goods - it's nice for her to have something that's new, and hasn't been covered in bodily fluids, chewed, left outside, or drawn on.

So there you have it - five people, $20, and everyone is happy. At least until the chocolate runs out, but since they're only $1, I'd probably just go and buy some more!

I've found it!!!

2010-10-09T16:43:00.004+11:00

The first recipe for my 'Kitchen adventures' series of posts - and it's a strange one, though not as strange as some!

Taken from the Culinary Arts Institute Encyclopedic Cookbook, published in 1968, in the Hot Hors D'Oeuvres section:

Ham Banana Roll (yes, I said Ham Banana)

6 thin slices boiled ham (surely there can't be 6 people who would eat this?)
prepared mustard
6 firm bananas
Cheese sauce

Spread slices of ham with mustard. Wrap a banana in each ham slice and place in shallow baking dish. Pour cheese sauce over bananas and bake in moderate oven (350 F) for 30 minutes.

Let's all try it out and report back - I want to see if this is one of those recipes that sounds revolting but is actually really tasty. Or maybe they just ate strange things 42 years ago?

Highs and Lows

2010-10-06T18:12:00.002+11:00

I know I’ve been a bit sickly sweet/gushing over how amazing life is with three children, I’ve got loads of energy, I feel like a superhero, yada yada yada. Lest everyone (all 10 of you who read this blog) think that there’s something wrong with me for never having a crap kind of day, I thought I’d write this post – not to complain, but to maybe paint a more realistic picture of the other side of blissful motherhood.

Today:

I have been spewed on.

I have nearly lost my voice from shouting.

I have been ignored.

I have lost my temper too many times to count (see above thing about shouting)

I have picked up the same toys over and over and over again.

I have shopped with three children – one strapped to my chest, two in the shopping trolley. Truth be told, this was the easiest part of the day – except for the part about staying in my budget.

I have folded and put away so much laundry my head is spinning.

I have cried out “God, please make it all stop” a few times.

I have been impatient, irritable, unpleasant, and just plain NOT NICE to my children. Thankfully, they call me on it Every. Single. Time.

I have changed poop that would make your eyes bleed.

I have had a delicious cup of coffee, laced with chocolate.

Lachlan came home and took the two older girls for a walk, to get them out of the house for a bit.

I have mopped the floor.

I have had it up to my “holy cow when did I get so gray?” hairline.

And so, my dear friends and family, I am going to make some toasted sandwiches for my family, do some more washing (the girls’ blankets smell like a dog that we DON’T HAVE!), and go to bed.

Because tomorrow is coming up very soon, and I’m sure it will be better – if I can just make up my mind to make it a better day.

XO,

Sarah

Best Laid Plans

2010-10-05T08:05:00.004+11:00

So I set up those tabs, one for a page about my family, one about my cooking adventures, and one about my faith - not realising that they aren't regular pages which can be added to. So it looks like unless I'm an HTML genius, which I am NOT, I'll just have to make those pages an ongoing list of links to the main page, where you'll find posts on said topics. Confused? Good. Moving on then.

The visit with our family was fab, naturally - it became an inpromptu Grand Final footy party, with all the requisite finger foods, noise, laughter, and chaos. Our girls aren't used to staying up so late, and it was indeed a very late night for them, from which they are still recovering (read: tired and cranky).

I think we've cracked the mystery of why they won't go to bed at night. Truth be told, it wasn't that hard to figure out. They're ready to drop their daytime naps. C is a bit tougher to crack, as even when she's exhausted (like last night for example), she protests for two hours, getting out of bed, saying "I'm not tired". Good thing we started early (6:30), or it would have been midnight before she finally crashed!

I'm pretty tired today - I stayed up too late watching the Commonwealth Games, and then M was a bit hard to settle after feeding throughout the night. Still though, I'm loving daylight savings - it makes bedtime a bit harder, when the sun is still up, but the mornings are lovely.

I think I'm ready to start handling the shopping again next week. It's a huge step, but since I'll be doing it with two children, while C is at preschool, it's nothing I've not done before. My preferred grocery store has these trolleys with an infant seat and a regular seat together, so that makes it easier. And in a few weeks, I think I'll be ready to do the preschool thing as well. And then it's just a matter of finding a rhythm and a routine that works for us. It's been a challenge for me to not be fully in charge of some things, like the shopping. L has done a fantastic job, but it's hard to develop a routine when so many things are being handled by other people.

Gotta go feed M, talk to you later!

XO,
Sarah

Typical day

2010-10-03T11:27:00.004+11:00

Maybe not so typical, but that's okay too.

I'm just finishing tweaking things here on the blog, finishing my coffee, and just about ready to first, deal with P, who just announced "I done poo", and second, strap on my apron which reads "#1 Mum" and begin my daily dose of housework. It's raining here in Ballina, the kind of rain that makes you want to crawl back in bed for a few more hours. The family is coming today, for a short visit - the girls are super-excited, they love their cousins - as do we!! I'd better get moving, this house won't clean itself, and I really must attend to that nappy.

Love,
Sarah

Two steps forward, Five steps back...

2010-09-29T15:59:00.002+10:00

It’s the essence of trying to accomplish things when you’ve got two busy, inquisitive, artistic, and hungry children. And a newborn who can drink an astonishing amount of milk. Often.

I don’t think dinner is going to be early tonight, the way I’d hoped. Things have gone very, very, pear-shaped. And aren’t likely to improve, methinks.

Let’s put it this way: I’ve been spewed on in a major way, the girls got out the front door and went ‘sand surfing’ in the pile of sand at the top of the driveway, and one of them was contemplating a career as a tattoo artist. I’ve got laundry in progress, but not even close to being finished, and the kitchen, despite being ridiculously clean when I went to bed last night, looks like it exploded.

Another late night, I think. Now I have to go stop that noise (it doesn’t sound like something good) from the bathroom, where my two oldest princesses are having a VERY early bath (see earlier statement re: sand surfing).

XO,

Sarah

And then there were three...

2010-09-29T11:21:00.002+10:00

Haven’t had much time for writing lately – just snippets of Facebook updates. Honestly, I’m up to my eyeballs in dirty nappies, and spend about 75% of my time in the kitchen, either making something to eat, cleaning up the somethings that didn’t get eaten, or washing up dirty dishes. And you know something? It’s what I always dreamed of. Being a wife, and a mother, for me is the ultimate fulfilment of my destiny. Sounds dramatic, I know. But I know, without a doubt, that this is what I was born to do, and who I was born to be.

In this rare moment when all three girls are sleeping, I find myself busy. Busy in mind, busy in body, in busy in spirit. Having another baby has given me more energy than I’ve ever had. It’s also changed how I interact with the world at large. I’m organising things like preschool, debating on whether or not to sign C up for kinder music group (she sings All. The. Time). And I love it. Ell Oh Vee EEE Love it.

To be continued (again), the apple crumble is ready to come out of the oven, which means it’s time to get the rice on, and start cooking the zucchini.

And that was two days ago. The apple crumble is gone, (it was delicious!) the zucchini was amazing (or at least the adults thought so), and even the leftover chicken tikka has been devoured. Tonight we’re having stuffed peppers, and strawberry and passionfruit cheesecake. Or we will if I can ever get anything else accomplished today – it’s been a very challenging kind of day, one in which I’m treading a whole lot of water but not really getting anywhere.

No matter, I’ll just keep swimming. And hopefully, we’ll all have an early night. Or at least the little people in our house – I thought I’d try no nap for them today, to see if they go to sleep more easily. It’s been a bit of a problem of late.

So I need to remove myself from this seat, and get to work. J

XOXO,
Sarah

I should probably be bothered a little...

2010-09-16T10:23:00.001+10:00

But strangely, I’m not. About black/blue crayon on the carpet, that is. The carpet needs to be cleaned anyway, and quite frankly, getting upset about it won’t change a thing. I’m in a place of acceptance that this kind of stuff is normal, and should be expected to happen when you have three children under the age of four. Not to say that the girls weren’t punished. I made it abundantly clear that the carpet is not for drawing, despite how dirty it might look.

I don’t know who did it, as they both claimed responsibility – actually, a positive note is that C told me she did it when I was about to scold P (who was holding the crayons), which I found endearing. Not so much that she was possibly lying to me, but that she seemed to be trying to protect her little sister. Who also told me “My did it”. Really, I’m just so thankful that I have such *ahem* artistic children.

At any rate, I’m enjoying a rather pleasant state of mind. Mellow, if you will. Before M came along, I was really fearful about how I’d manage things. I was scared that I’d be uptight, tense, cross, stressed, and too hard on the girls. To my surprise, and everyone else’s, I’ve gone the other way. I’m not always all ‘peaceful earth mother’, but things that just a month ago I would have gone completely mad over no longer send me to that place. I’ve arranged everything so that there is zero pressure on me to perform, and in taking that pressure off, it’s allowed me to enjoy things again. To embrace this life which I longed for, and to get pleasure out of serving my family. To take pride in things, and not feel resentment. To do things in a way that works for me, without feeling as though I’m a failure for not ‘doing it all’.

I just do things as I am able, and if I’m not – well then, maybe the next day. In the bigger picture, a lot of it doesn’t matter so much. What matters is that my family know they are loved. Unconditionally, enthusiastically, and completely. The rest will come in time.

And speaking of time, I need to continue on with the housework, because in addition to having crayon drawings on them, the carpets desperately need a good vacuum.

XOXO,

Sarah

Slow and steady

2010-09-13T10:24:00.002+10:00

I don’t have much exciting news to report these days. Unless of course, your idea of entertainment is waking up and changing pooey nappies in the middle of the night, or investigating just where that pair of jeans could possibly be, or endless fixing of snacks and drinks which creates endless dirty dishes. It’s exciting to me, and I’m very, very, very happy (and tired!). But I could totally understand why it might not be exciting to others.

C is at preschool today, and it’s just P, M, and me. Slowly working my way out from the one end of the house to the other, making clean spots among the mess, until I have no more mess. But very slowly. I thought I might try and take the two girls for a walk today, to get some cupcake supplies. Not that I need to be eating cupcakes, mind you – but I thought it would be something fun to do with the girls.

M is sleeping, and I’m just having a rest from work. Morning tea break, I suppose you could call it.

P just came to me and announced “I done poops”, so I suppose I’d better go take care of that. Because it smells horrible.

Ah well, back to work.

XOXO,

Sarah

I haven't been overdoing it, I promise!

2010-09-10T17:15:00.002+10:00

So I’m at a loss to explain why I feel as though I have. I’ve not been going anywhere, doing only mild tasks, resting frequently, eating well, and trying very hard to look after things down in the business end, if you catch my drift. So what gives? Is my definition of ‘taking it easy’ really so different from everyone else’s? Or is it just impossible to do that while looking after three little people? Maybe I need to take 10% off the top of the level of energy I think I have, to come up with a more realistic figure? Not sure. Anywho, I’m just checking in to say hello, and hoping that maybe tomorrow I’ll feel a bit less sore. Now to go investigate that strange noise from the lounge room...

XOXO,

Sarah

What had happened was...

2010-09-09T09:29:00.002+10:00

So. A week after being home, I’m on my own. With visitors, of course, but I am responsible for the care and feeding of three little people. And is it ever different from being responsible for the care and feeding of two little people. Things move in a different plane of space and time. Like the TARDIS (for those of you not familiar with the term, that’s a Dr. Who reference), or something similar. Because I’ve arranged things so that we don’t have to go anywhere, for any reason (with the possible exception of the house being on fire or a medical emergency), we have a loose schedule based on hunger and mealtimes. But that’s as far as she goes. If I feel like it, I do some housework. If not, I just try to keep things under control so L can do it later. If we’re tired, we sleep. If we’re hungry, we eat. If we’re dirty, we shower. But I’m not putting any pressure on anyone to do or be anything at the moment, because we’re still figuring out this “party of five”, and I suspect we will be for some time. I’m more in tune with my body than ever now, so I can tell very quickly if I’ve been a bit too enthusiastic with things. Like today, I’m feeling a bit tired, and I’ve got some ‘issues’ which are just too embarrassing to discuss in public. So today, though I’m desperate to get everything finished, I’m wise enough to know that I shouldn’t rush. It will all still be there when I get to it, and if I try too hard, I’ll only make it harder for myself later on. I can’t be everything to everyone, and I’m smart enough to not even try.

Apparently, you can teach an old dog new tricks!

We’ve uploaded pictures of M, though there aren’t a lot of the actual birth (not sure I’d want to relive that moment anyway!), we’ve tried to take lots since then. Speaking of which, and seeing that my girly bits are sore from sitting this long, I might go take some more now. I’ll try to post some pictures here, to show off our newest princess, as well as my older princesses.

XOXO,

Sarah

Sorry for the long absence...

2010-09-07T11:32:00.002+10:00

I’ve been a little busy.

My waters broke unexpectedly, starting a chain of events that ended in the birth of our third daughter, M. I was in hospital for a week, and was taken care of by many lovely midwives, nurses, and doctors. We came home on Wednesday, and I’ve been taken care of by my husband and his mum, which has allowed me to ease back into life. Friends have offered help in various ways, such as transporting C to and from preschool, advice, comfort, meals, PRAYER!!!, and just plain old company, which does wonders for this weary soul. My husband has been amazing in so many ways, but especially in his eagerness to help out with more domestic things. The fact that he is willing to do these things takes off that bit of pressure, and means that as and when I’m able to do it, I can – but don’t feel like I HAVE to. So I’m recuperating well, and so far don’t feel too overwhelmed. Just thankful to see my little? family completed, and enjoying each moment. Even the ones filled with poo, spew, noise, mess, and tears. Because one day I won’t be called upon to wipe little bottoms, and it will be altogether too quiet and too clean.

XOXO,

Sarah

To my beautiful children

2010-08-23T16:41:00.002+10:00

I love you all so much, that sometimes I feel as though I will burst if I don’t get to cuddle you. You too, M – though you’re more or less in a constant state of cuddling at the moment.

Can I make a request?

Sleep, please? As in, when I put you in your beds at night, stay in them? The whole night? And M – I don’t know what was up with your universe last night, but can we not repeat that, pretty please? It wasn’t pleasant. C, there is nothing wrong with your bed. I know it’s probably cosier in our bed, but there just isn’t enough room. And the random and unexpected hands to my eye really hurt. P – you must sleep, my child. And 5:30? Not an acceptable time to pound on your door calling out. Unless of course, your room is on fire, or there is a poisonous spider on your bed. And all of you – know that I’m very sorry I was so grumpy this morning.

That’s all. I don’t know, maybe it’s a big ask. What do you say – can you help a tired Mum out?

Love,

Mum.

Some funny things heard at our house

2010-08-22T22:59:00.001+10:00

L: (he was TOTALLY joking!) You need to do something about that gut of yours...

Me: Give me a month or so.

Heard C singing on the toilet tonight, as she was well, toileting. That child sings and narrates EVERYTHING!

From a movie we just watched:

Character 1: You can plunder my castle anytime

Character 2: I’ll bring my longbow.

I said to someone today that if the old wives’ tale about hairy babies and heartburn is true, then M will look like a member of ZZ Top!

L: It gives me indigestion, trying to eat with all that chaos (describing dinner with the girls tonight).

Me: Now you know why I’m up at 3am every morning with feral heartburn!

Two heart warming things witnessed today:

First, P came and asked me for a biscuit, but she also asked for one for C.

The other thing was that at morning tea, every time C grabbed a biscuit from the table, she made sure to get one for P.

XOXO,

Sarah

Some information for my unborn child...

2010-08-20T21:03:00.001+10:00

Dear M,

Though you’ve no doubt heard in utero some of the madness that awaits you, I thought I would take a few minutes and give you the Cliffs Notes version of our family. Because you’ll be busy enough learning how to breathe, cry, eat, sleep, and poop without figuring out who is who, and what makes them tick.

First of all, I’m your mum. I’m really distracted most of the time, unless I’m reading a book. Not that I’ll have much time for that sort of thing, but if you see me with a book in my hands, you’ll have to try extra hard to get my attention. I really love coffee, chocolate, and spicy foods. Presumably, you have already been exposed to those things in the womb, but I’ll try to go easy on your little digestive system as you will be very small and probably not a huge fan of habanero sauce, large amounts of coffee, or sugar. I love you to infinity already, and I am very excited to meet you. I can be overly emotional, tend to talk a lot, and will probably smother you a bit, especially when you’re brand new. Sometimes I’m overprotective, but it’s only because I love you so much. So when I won’t let you climb the coffee table, or eat dead bugs off the floor, I hope you’ll understand.

Next, there’s your dad. He’s a good dad, and probably a lot more fun than I am. He loves to work in the garden, so if you’re wanting to spend quality time with him, you’ll have to get dirty. Fortunately, I love to do laundry (it’s true, I do!), so this is okay with me. He’s very quiet, and doesn’t really get upset. Or maybe he does, but it’s hard to tell because his expression is kind of the same most of the time. Kind of like David Duchovny from the X-Files (this is a tv show that is no longer on the air, and you will probably not see until you are much, much older). He also likes to read, but is not as obsessive about it as I am. He will probably let you do all kinds of things that I wouldn’t, but this just means that he has a bit more confidence in your skills than I do. He loves you too, and is very excited to meet you. He’s got amazing eyelashes, and curly hair, which I really hope you inherit.

Your siblings:

C, your oldest sister, is a lot like me. She’s very emotional, although she might grow out of this a bit. It’s kind of hard to tell. She’s got long light brown/dark blonde hair that curls at the ends, which she hates having brushed. She’s fair-skinned, with blue eyes, and I think she’s going to be tall, not like me, but like your dad. We’re going through a challenging phase at the moment, but one that I’m sure we’ll survive. She loves you very much, and likes to talk to you – but then you already know that. She tells everyone about you, and can’t wait to meet you. She’ll be a great big sister to you, but a bit loud at times. We’re working on volume control, but it’s a process. She likes to read stories, but loves to be outside as well. She is a very physical child, and loves to be tickled. She’s very gentle with babies, so I don’t think you have to worry about her being too rough – at least until you’re older.

P, your other big sister, is more like your dad. She’s got short, curly, dark hair, and super long eyelashes. She’s very quiet on her own, with a soft voice, and a very gentle soul. That’s not to say she’s never loud, just that by herself, she’s very quiet. When she’s with C, she tends to get a bit louder. But it’s all in good fun. She understands a little bit about how you’re in my tummy, but I’m not sure she understands that you’ll be here soon. Hopefully, she’ll adjust well. We talk to her about you, but it’s just impossible to know what she understands. She loves to read as well, and tries to do everything C does. She might not be as gentle with you as C will be, so I’ll do my best to keep her off you.

You have a brother too, but he doesn’t live with us – he lives in America with his mommy. That’s kind of a tough thing to explain, so I might leave the explanation for when you’re a bit older. Just know that he’ll love you as much as we do – and hopefully, he’ll come to visit us someday so you can meet him. He’s very intelligent, with big brown eyes, long eyelashes, and a beautiful smile. At last count, he liked Lego, and cars. He’s a fair bit older than you are, he’ll be 9 this year.

And that’s it – in a nutshell. There are other people in your family, of course – grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, but we’ll save that for another day.

Though I’ll mess up from time to time, I love you immensely. From the moment I knew you existed, I loved you. And I think the moment I look into your newborn face will be one of the most memorable of my life. And just so you know, I might say silly things, but that will probably be the epidural talking. It all boils down to this one simple truth –

I love you. Now, then, forever, and always. Never doubt that for a moment, my sweet child.

Love,

Your mum

Restless

2010-08-19T20:37:00.001+10:00

Today is the first day in months when I’ve had zero desire to clean something. I’m simply tired, achy, irritable, and swollen. Torn between wanting to be finished with this already and wanting her to stay in there a bit longer because I’m scared. I’m going to be a mum of 3 kiddos under the age of 4. I’m scared witless that I’ll stink at it. Tomorrow is my baby shower, I’m really looking forward to it. Hoping that it will get me back to the proper headspace, and out of this funk I seem to be in. Maybe because I’ve been anticipating this for 32 weeks already, it’s hard at this point to muster up any more excitement and anticipation? No matter. It will all be forgotten when I hold that beautiful baby. And whether she arrives tomorrow, or a month from now, no amount of worrying will change the outcome. All I can decide is how I handle today. And today, my friends, I handle it with a nap. And some bean and cheese nachos.

Some prelabour-ish things going on with me, but nothing definitive. Just enough to make me question every single twinge.

I stupidly forgot to avoid giving a drink to C with lunch, and she soaked through two doonas at naptime. Have to get them cleaned, as my washing machine can’t handle the load, and they’d take days to dry on the clothesline. It was probably time to wash them anyway, just about the change of season.

I really can’t think of much else to say tonight. So I’m going to have a hot shower, and go to bed. With my feet firmly elevated, as they look like tree limbs.

Good night, and God Bless!

So it's 10:35 pm

2010-08-05T22:51:00.002+10:00

And I’ve finished most of my to-do list, including:

Washing dishes (it’s an all-day event)

Vacuum (So sue me, I used the broom on the carpet to just pick up the visible dirt)

Mop kitchen (nearly went to bed without doing it, but couldn’t stand looking at the floor anymore)

Make beds (not an easy task, given my size at the moment)

5 loads of laundry washed, dried, and folded (will put away tomorrow when people are awake)

Prepared and cleaned up breakfast, morning tea, lunches, afternoon tea, and dinner (that last one involved a little help from Subway, but whatever...)

Showered once (normally I do it before bed as well, but I’m having a good hair day and if I get it wet now it will be all weird tomorrow)

Got dressed before 9am

Dressed the kids (this is not an easy thing either – it often involves kicking, thrashing, and running away)

Had a nap (this was not easy, considering the fact that we’re in a building site)

Things I did not do today that I really wanted to but enough already, I surrender:

Clean out toys, sort them and put them away

Tidy my plastic container cupboard

I’m hoping that tomorrow, I’ll be able to bake this cake I’ve had since Sunday. I’ve really been craving cake, ever since I made cupcakes a couple of weeks ago. They were some amazing cupcakes. Also, I’d like to try this sticky date cheesecake recipe, but that would involve me going to the store with both children, something that I’d only attempt if I were juiced up on coffee, and having a fantastic hair day. So maybe not.

Girls had a terrible night for going to bed tonight. They just would not go to sleep. It was like the Wailing Wall in this house! I even had a brief cry, as I looked around me and saw all that still needed to be done, and realised just how tired I was, how sore I was, and how many different directions I felt pulled in. I let Lachlan deal with the non-sleeping people, and just plodded along, doing a bit here, a bit there, until it was mostly done.

And now, my pregnant body is aching. Back, feet, legs, belly, and all. The baby is very squirmy, and it’s not comfy. So I’m going to bed. In my clothes, just like this. And tomorrow, my friends, is another day.

XOXO,

Sarah

Untitled

2010-08-04T10:10:00.001+10:00

It’s useless, getting so upset. Does it really matter?

The truth is, we all have a role to fulfil. And this is mine. To love, honour, and serve God through loving, honouring, and serving my family. And yes, sometimes it is thankless, and endless.

But it doesn’t have to be joyless.

Today I’m going to try and experience the joy that comes from fulfilling the role for which I was created. How about you?

XOXO,

Sarah

What will today hold?

2010-07-28T08:40:00.003+10:00

A truckload of laundry and mopping, with some baking (chocolate chip macaroons) thrown in for good measure. Showers are optional (and highly unlikely) at this point, which means that my hair is like a cross between Justin Bieber and Kristina Keneally (if either of those two were a stay at home mum with roots and gray hairs, that is).

I’m trying to be optimistic about how today is going to go. This morning has not started smoothly though, and I gotta say – it’s putting a damper on things. C woke up at 6:30 with a massive sneeze, declaring “I need a tissue”. I sent her to get a tissue from the kitchen, and she went directly to her room (she was sleeping with us), opened the door, and woke up her sister. Once they’re both awake, there is no turning back, cupcake. You’re awake, like it or not.

Next, it was whinging about the way I prepared her breakfast. She ate it without complaint, but whined and cried the whole time I was making it. I take that back, she did have a moment over the fact that all the sugar was gone and I wasn’t giving her more. I am so cruel, n’est-ce pas? Apparently there’s a technique to pouring cereal which I have yet to learn – who knew?

Since then (and mind you, only an hour has passed since we’ve been up), we’ve (and by we I mean she) cried over the following: a delayed craft project, mummy wanting to finish her coffee before it enters an ice age, not being allowed in the computer room, and not having the television turned on upon demand. Oh, and also over some books that she wants to read but we won’t let her have unsupervised because she’s just a bit careless with books at this age.

Then someone’s asking me for lunch, someone else is telling me they’ve pooped in their duds (nappy/diaper), the builders are here with a saw of some kind, my coffee is going cold already, and I feel as though I’m on a losing streak already, and I haven’t even shown up to the game.

I know today is Wednesday, and it’s the first of what I call “preschool recovery days”. She’s tired. Really, really tired. Her brain has been stimulated and stretched to its outer limits for two straight days. I get it, I do. And then you add to that a tired mum with two labour-intensive tasks ahead of her for the day, and a toddler who’s been the sole recipient of my attentions for two days and now has to share me with someone else, and it becomes an extremely volatile mixture, likely to explode sporadically throughout the day.

So today we’re not going anywhere, because of the rainy weather, the need for understimulation, and the sheer exhaustion of the last two days. Which means that it will be a trying kind of day, but I know that God will give us what we need to get through to the other side.

Now – to start that washing. Which goes like this. Pull the garden hose through the open bathroom window, connect it to the washing machine, go outside through the muddy grass and turn on the water (it’s raining substantially), come back in and connect the electricity, and away we go! The house will be warm today, because we’ve got to use the dryer due to the weather, so that’s a bonus.

Think I’ll start in the kitchen today, as it’s the toughest job in the house. Especially the mopping. Plus, because I did everything except that yesterday, it really needs to be addressed.

Chorizo, Chilli, and Olive Fettucine, Garlic Bread, and Tossed Salad for dinner tonight. All easily assembled, and quick to prepare, and hopefully yummy – it’s a bit of an invention (eat your heart out, Masterchef!).

Gotta go, my life awaits!

XOXO,

Sarah

And then I stabbed myself in the gum with a shard of ice...

2010-07-26T16:37:00.001+10:00

I’ve had some cravings in this pregnancy. Some have come and then gone almost before they could be called a craving. Some have stuck with me for the duration. One that’s kind of recent is ice cubes. Which is unfortunate, what with it being winter and all. But because of my aforementioned penchant for stubborn behaviour, I persist. And last night, while munching away on an ice cube, I crunched it the wrong way, and a shard of ice stabbed into my gum. Ouch.

Some other cravings are/have been:

Peanut Butter

Cream Cheese

Pepperoni Pizza

Kiwifruit

Pecans ($25 a kilo?!?)

Cake. The chocolate-ier the better. With loads of frosting.

Chicken Garlic Balls

Polenta with Mushrooms and Parmesan.

Coffee (although this is probably more related to having two children than to pregnancy)

Steak and Cheese pies

Potatoes. Mashed, Boiled, Fried, whatever. Yum.

I also recall a brief stint of baby beets, red onion, and mayonnaise.

I’m hoping that some of these are a passing thing – not exactly healthy stuff, yo. But for now, I’m reasonably healthy (with a slight iron deficiency), the baby is growing as she should, and I haven’t put on too much weight. So I’ll settle for that...

Off to stop procrastinating cleaning the kitchen. Ugh.

XOXO,

Sarah

Adventures in Renovating, and some other stuff too...

2010-07-25T15:56:00.001+10:00

So on Wednesday, or maybe it was Thursday, our builder told me that yes, there was a hole in our roof, but that if the bricks got wet it wasn’t a huge deal, since they were going to demolish said wall this week. Fast forward to Friday, when it had been raining most of the day, and I heard this beeping noise from the garage. I opened the door to investigate, and discovered that our garage door opener was leaking. As in there was water in the ceiling above it, and it had gotten into the unit, and was dripping on the floor, complete with flashing light. Wisely, I did not step in the puddle of water under it, instead choosing a long piece of wood to flick the switch to the power point where it was plugged in. Those of you from Australia will know what I’m talking about, but for the Americans, our electrical outlets have an on/off switch here, so I turned it off. The beeping stopped, and I thought all was well. Until a few hours later, after more rain had fallen, and L came home and we heard a different beeping. He went out to investigate, and discovered that the water was pooling in the middle of the garage ceiling, and was now dripping out of the electrical outlet itself. OOPS. So he rang the builder, who came by and they ripped out part of the ceiling, and the water came pouring out. Apparently, it was millimetres from touching the wire itself. Can you say YIKES?? So they sorted that out, hooray. Now my demolition-crazed husband is ripping out walls, ceilings, and all sorts of things. Among other things, we’ve discovered that at one time this house was overrun by cockroaches, based on the dried out droppings he’s found. Shudder much?

In the middle of all this, we’ve relocated our laundry facility to the bathroom, with a garden hose connected to the outside. Due to a slight miscommunication between us, I disconnected the garden hose while it was still turned on. In a panic, I tried to reconnect it, but only succeeded in spraying water everywhere. Thankfully, I’d disconnected the electricity. But the sudden chaos frightened C, who tried to run away but slipped on the wet floor, so they were both crying, the water was spraying, and I was drenched. I then threw the hose out the bathroom window, and L’s mum came to sort out the girls, while I went outside in the rain (like I could get any wetter?) to turn off the water. It was pretty comical, let me tell you. At any rate, those are the two most memorable renovation stories to date.

7 weeks or so left until we meet our newest addition! A lady at church today told me we were having a boy – how she can tell, I don’t know. I’m hosting the little bundle of joy, and I can’t tell – the only reason I have a clue is because of the ultrasound, so we’ll see who’s right.

I’m a bit tired today, as I’m still recovering from my latest round of ‘nesting’. With L’s mum here, I kind of went a bit overboard with the cleaning. Only because she was here to play with my babies, so I didn’t feel as though I was neglecting them by spending most of the day cleaning and domesticating. I found surprises (a dried out sneeze that had dripped from a windowsill to the wall), and did not stop moving the entire day. All that was on Friday, and as a result, I was ridiculously tired and sore all day Saturday, and am still feeling tired today. Which is unfortunate, because can I just tell you? Kids don’t stop making messes just because Mum is tired. I know, right? Like that is any kind of fair!

At any rate, I’m pretty tired, and I’m hoping that even though I’ve got a fair bit of tidying up to do, including (ugh!) vacuuming, that I’ll get to have a relatively early night. After the Masterchef finale, that is!

XOXO,

Sarah

Huh. Maybe...?

2010-07-14T11:39:00.001+10:00

You know, I’m like my dad. Always have been.

I’m tenacious, which at times has been such a good quality to have. At other times, not so much. When a situation isn’t working, I tend to be oblivious, and continue pressing on with it, until it’s a big fat mess.

I continue on with things long past the point when it would have been reasonable, nay intelligent, to quit.

Like when I wouldn’t quit the Navy despite regular and unexplained chest pain and elevated (220 plus) heart rates during exercise, because I couldn’t bear to have people pity me. I wanted so desperately to succeed, that I was willing to sacrifice my own health and well-being to do it.

Like when I tried to continue my life as normal after having my second child. That didn’t work out so well.

Like when I get completely bent out of shape because things aren’t perfectly clean, and lose it because “No one cleans up after themselves!!!”

Like when the girls are wound up and won’t go to sleep and instead of sorting out the problem, I march in with flared nostrils and crazy eyebrows and command them to go to sleep. That doesn’t work, by the way.

I’ve come to realise that I tend to ignore the obvious until it’s REALLY obvious.

I visited with a friend recently and you know something? She doesn’t live in a museum – but her home is a happy one. Warm, welcoming, and nourishing.

I want that. I want my home to be one filled with laughter and light and love. And if it’s not perfectly clean all the time, then so be it. It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m not saying I want to live in filth, but for crying out loud, who really cares if there are some toys on the floor, or if the laundry isn’t emptied daily, or if there is a strange stain on the floor? If everything is perfect, but my children don’t want to be inside for fear of messing something up, what does that say about how welcoming my home is?

I need to chill out and lighten up. None of that crap really matters, and I want my home to be more than just a clean house with people in it.

‘Nuff said...

School holiday reading list

2010-07-11T08:28:00.002+10:00

I went to the library Thursday night, alone. For the first time in FOREVER. I kind of went a little nuts, like someone who hasn’t eaten in weeks showing up at an all-you-can-eat buffet. I picked up some fiction, some non-fiction, some magazines, a cookbook, a couple of novels from two different fantasy series I’ve been reading for years, plus a new novel from an author whose fantasy series I quite enjoy. It was quite an impressive, albeit ambitious stack of reading material, and considering I rarely get time to sit down and watch a dvd, I have no idea whether I’ll plow through it in 3 weeks, but I tend to pick (especially when it comes to novels) formulaic things that I can read quickly.

So far, I’ve been perusing a cookbook that explores sneaking vegetables into food that kids love by using purees. This is helpful to me because my girls won’t eat sweet potato or pumpkin – they don’t do orange food, for some reason. But this book gives you ideas on how to include things like cauliflower puree in French toast. Weird, but if it gets them to eat more veggies, I’m all for it.

I’ve also knocked out two of the novels. The first one was a book about a dysfunctional family with some pretty major skeletons in the closet. They start out poles apart, but finish together, realising that they’re all a bit more alike than they’d care to admit, and that secrets are silly. Formulaic, but I love the setting (The South). If I wasn’t living here, I’d want to live in the deep South, y’all. Small Town somewhere or other.

The other novel was a new one by Terry Goodkind, whose Sword of Truth series is a favourite of mine. I would say that it has to be intentional, and it did make it easy to read, but there were quite a few elements of this story that were identical to the series, though this book is (at least I think) meant to be separate. Having been so familiar with the series, it allowed me to move quickly through the story, and identify with the characters in an allegorical kind of way. The ending was kind of open, leaving room for a sequel (another series perhaps?) although if this is going to be a series, I would hope that it branches further away from the other series. We’ll see...

Next I’m back to the Sword of Truth series, though I’ve had to skip a novel between them, and my own collection is incomplete – it’s probably the one series that I haven’t collected in order. The last novel I read from the series was in 2005, and there was one after that which I haven’t read, plus the one I’ve got now. Normally, I wouldn’t read them out of order. And I may reconsider, just because it might get confusing.

Today is Sunday, and I’m taking the girls to church, then we’re going to plant a couple of trees. Housework is caught up, thanks to a flurry of nesting yesterday, and I think we’re having tacos for dinner. Crispy Chicken tacos. I also need to go to the shop to do our weekly shopping. With or without the girls, haven’t decided as of yet. I do know that it will include some steak and cheese pies, which will now become a staple of our freezer. Until I get sick of them, that is.

Until next time,

Sarah

School holidays

2010-07-08T16:47:00.001+10:00

I quite enjoy the school holidays. They provide me with an opportunity to get to know my children a bit more, to ‘mother’ them a bit less, to ‘mommy’ them a bit more. They are such lovely girls, and I think I get so caught up in the everyday things we ‘have’ to do, that I lose sight of that. I get so busy bossing them about, barking orders like a generalissima, that I forget they are two and three years old. Still babies, really. And I don’t want to rush them into adulthood before they (or I) are ready.

School holidays also give me a breather, and some time to plan out the next term. This particular time, planning the next term takes me to the arrival of our newest family member. Yikes!!! I am truly getting scared. No longer will we have an equal ratio – it will be two on three. How does that work? How can you possibly watch all of them at once???

Planning the next term also gives me some time to think about arrangements for basic things after M comes – like transportation, shopping, housework, etc. For starters, I’m not even THINKING about leaving hospital until we’ve got a good start on breastfeeding. Maybe 3 days in. L’s mum will be here, so there’s no need for me to come rushing straight home. Because if I’m home, then the girls will see it as open season. And there goes any rest I might be able to get.

Another benefit to looking at the term ahead is to sort of see as I get closer to my due date, that I might not feel like jaunting all over the place. Except to my doctor’s appointments. And even there, the steering wheel is now actually squashing my blooming belly a tad uncomfortably, and I’m not sure what to do about it. Any suggestions for that? Other than annoying everyone for the next 10 weeks asking for lifts everywhere?

But the thing about school holidays that I treasure is that they give me permission, as it were, to not do anything if I don’t want to. Because there’s nothing to do! I can veg out in my pjs with the girls all day, because there is no preschool, Bible study, or playgroup. I don’t feel as though I’m causing them to miss out on anything, and I don’t feel as though I’m not being social enough. It allows me (in my own mind) to set the pace for our social calendar.

Well, I’d better close this and get the girls into the car, so we can go pick up L from work, pick up the church computer, and then come home to some dinner. (leftovers). And later on this evening, I get to go to the library ALONE for some R&R. And home in time for Bondi Vet, who is admittedly a big dreamboat, but let’s face it, he’s no L!

XOXO,

Sarah

No more room in the back seat

2010-07-06T10:06:00.001+10:00

If someone so much as sneezes, injuries may very well occur. Given that C and P are now sitting right next to each other, they may occur anyway!

I have successfully installed and adjusted all the car seats, after a brief siesta. It makes it all seem a bit more real, and immediate. We also started stockpiling newborn nappies and wipes, and bought three singlets (undershirts) and two tiny, tiny, pink sleep suits today. I went with the smallest size, which is what both the girls wore at birth – it’s impossible to know how big she’ll be, so I’ll leave the tags on until we know for sure, and if they turn out to be too small, I’ll return them. This afternoon, when C wakes up, we’ll do the housework and get dinner (Beef Casserole) ready, before we go to pick up L. Tonight, after the girls are in bed, I’ll go and do the rest of the shopping on my own, when it’s a bit quieter. I’m looking forward to the quiet time. I’ve had precious little of that lately.

Blog Post, take two:

I wrote that first bit yesterday, and never got back to it.

Today we went to the shops early, and it was a different experience altogether. I had my pick of two different “two-seater” trolleys, the shop wasn’t crowded, and the kids weren’t hungry and ratty. We managed to squeeze in a quick trip to Kmart as well, to put a few things on lay by. Now we’re home, and going to put away the shopping, do some housework, and just relax the rest of the day (and by relax I mean make some jam, some banana bread, and quite possibly do some dinner prep for later in the week.

Except for the fact that at present, I feel like doing nothing but drinking hot cocoa and sitting on the lounge wrapped in a blanket, it’s a good plan...

Well, I’m off to do whatever it is that I’m going to do. Which may or may not involve actual work.

Sarah

Serving like I've been saved...

2010-06-30T08:12:00.001+10:00

Last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, I was going through all the items there are to accomplish today. And it’s a formidable list, to be sure. I started to get a bit overwhelmed, and started wondering how the heck I was going to get it all accomplished, and pre-emptively feeling like a failure because I knew I wouldn’t get through it all.

And then the codeine took over, and I slept. Until 2am, when C pounded on her door and called out “Mommy!” For the record, there was no intruder, she was just cold. Probably because she took off her socks and kicked off the covers. So we swapped places, and I slept in her bed, she snuggled up with L, and we resumed our sleep.

But then this morning, I read this devotion, and what it said to me was that I need to serve like I’ve been saved. Which I have. In a huge way! Think about it – if someone saved your life, you’d be pretty much eternally grateful to them. You’d want to show them how appreciative you are. And God has saved me from the life I used to know, in a big way. Sure, sometimes I might not see it that way, but the truth is that I have been freed from a life of bondage to sin. And serving Him is my way to show Him just how grateful I am.

So today’s monumental list of tasks to be completed? Still huge. Still daunting, which is quite possibly the understatement of the week. But each thing I accomplish, I pray that I accomplish it with the heart of a grateful servant. A heart that recognises, with each nappy I change, with each dish I wash, each piece of clothing I hang out to dry, that I have been R-E-S-C-U-E-D.

At the end of the day, the things I didn’t do don’t matter so much, so long as the things I HAVE done reflect the best I have to offer.

XOXO,

Sarah

Praising God

2010-06-27T09:50:00.001+10:00

Since I’m not quite well enough to praise God in church today, I will praise Him from home. By making every effort to excel at the mission which He has called me to. Caring for my family and home. By loving them in word and deed. With all that is in me. In serving them, I am serving Him. May I strive to do that all the days of my life.

XOXO,

Sarah

I think I coughed up Shrek's breakfast this morning

2010-06-24T07:55:00.002+10:00

Either that, or my internal organs are turning to grey/green mush. You decide.

I really hope today is the worst of it, and that I start feeling better soon. Because I’m pretty sure if I cough any harder, I could seriously break my waters. Is that even medically possible? I’ve heard of people breaking ribs from coughing, but not the other.

Have decided not to wait until Monday to see the doctor, and will call later this morning to see if I can get in for tomorrow. I can’t breathe without coughing, and it actually hurts quite a lot to cough. Then there’s the ears that buzz painfully when exposed to loud noises (children tantrum-ing), the teeth that I would happily have extracted to relieve the pressure, and don’t even get me started on the unmentionable issues!

Friends, family, complete strangers – please pray for me today, that I will have the physical stamina to be a good mummy today, that if I don’t, then God will send someone to take over for me for a while, and most of all, that I start to feel better soon. Because if I haven’t said it,

This stinks.

Sarah

Viruses R Us

2010-06-21T14:26:00.003+10:00

So last week, C was sneezing in a projectile manner, which generated into a cough. Then P started coughing and sneezing (not quite as spectacularly, but she IS only two!). Mostly, sneezing and coughing in my face. Like, up my nose and in my mouth (since she only wanted me to hold her and sleep with her). So guess who’s the latest victim of this particular cold virus? Yes, that’s right, me. And it feels miserable. Fever, chills, upset stomach, fatigue, fuzzy brained, headachy me. Ugh.

So today, P and I went out to get supplies for dinner, and while we were out, we picked up C from preschool early. Because I just couldn’t summon enough energy to go home, then go out again. And the house is a mess, and I’m too tired to do anything but blog about it. And because even that’s a physical effort, I’m going to close this, grab some pillows and a blanket, and camp out on the lounge, and watch cartoons with the girls.

See you later, folks!

If I don't have anything nice to say...

2010-06-19T08:20:00.002+10:00

I’ve been kind of quiet lately, I know. Everything is okay, I just haven’t felt like writing. And this morning, I’m in rather a foul mood, so probably shouldn’t write anything, lest I sound ungrateful.

I am aware of my many blessings, and I am extremely thankful. This is a season. I will not always be pregnant, I will not always have such small children, and someday (dare to dream?) I will get more than 2 hours of consecutive sleep. Someday my sugar bowl will remain on the kitchen counter unmolested. Someday I will wear clothing that isn’t stained, ripped, or the wrong size. Someday I will smell nice (in the meantime, thank the Lord for perfume!). Someday, I will no longer need to know whether my children have pooped. And I will look back on this season, and my memory will be fuzzy. The stress and frustration I feel now will be forgotten.

Until then, you’ll have to excuse me because I hear the sugar bowl in the lounge room. Sigh...

XOXO,

Sarah

Ha. Snort. Ha!

2010-06-09T08:22:00.002+10:00

So a remark was made last night, and I took it personally. In reality, it wasn’t personal. But in my hormonally-overwrought state, I overreacted. And spent a good hour last night sulking and crying, thinking of how unfair it all was. And then this morning, as I began to write out my to-do list, those feelings returned with a vengeance. And I prayed for God to help me to serve my family without anger or resentment today. To help me WANT to serve them. To enjoy serving them, and by serving them, serving Him.

Then I turned to today’s devotional – The title? (I am SO not making this up!) “It’s Not Fair!”.

The context was a bit different, but the message was crystal clear.

As I read the daily readings, and did my Bible study for today, I began to feel the dark cloud of worldly gloom lift, and although my to-do list is still quite impressive, I’m only focusing on one task at a time. That’s all I can do anyway. I mean, without a live-in maid, a house elf, or a couple of extra hours in the day.

Last night was not a good night for sleeping. I was in bed for about 60 seconds when Pippa began to whinge a bit. I went into their room, and laid down there for a bit, but she wasn’t settling well. So we came into the guest room, and slept in here until about 6:30. Meaning that without me to force her to go back to her own bed, C ended up sleeping with L at some point. He says it’s too disturbing to his sleep for him to get up and put her back in bed, and unlike me, he can’t sleep during the day to catch up. I kind of see his point, but I’m still a bit touchy about that particular statement, so I’ll just leave it at that.

Today we’ve got a lot to do, but like I said – one item at a time. I’d better get moving, because none of it is getting done sitting here.

Sarah

Silly, Silly Girl.

2010-06-08T13:29:00.003+10:00

8am - Guess what I learned yesterday? Doing a big shop with both girls is no longer an option for me. I was having all kinds of crazy Braxton-Hicks last night, blurry vision, unbelievably tired, mentally vague, and I just felt off all over (like I was 39 weeks pregnant, and not 26). Still do. Ugh. Apparently there IS a limitation to my superpowers. And today’s devotion? About asking for help? Yeah – message received, Lord. If only that had been yesterday’s devotional topic. Anyway, I’ve asked my good friend to pick C up and take her to preschool, and hopefully I’ll get a big fat nap in, and feel a bit better by this afternoon. At any rate, I’ve got to make her lunch for preschool, and put on some laundry on, because I’m out of clean clothes again. Sigh. I’ll continue this a bit later, and let you know how I’m progressing through the day.

1:20pm – After a nap, I actually feel worse. But life goes on, right? I’ve not done a lick of housework today, so things are at best, untidy. At worst, unhygienic. I’m fairly certain P just grabbed rice crackers off the kitchen bench and is eating them off the floor. Though we’ve had pizza not two nights ago, I’m going to order it again, and since we’ve had our fresh veggies delivered, we’ll have a salad. I don’t have any appetite at all, but I can’t just eat nothing. So a bit of salad, some water, and then bed, bed, bed. Oh wait, except I have to go to get the pizza. And the computer from the church office. And I have to wash some clothes because mine are all in the dirty laundry. Blegh.

I’m literally too tired to continue this, so I’ll just close and send. Hopefully I’ll be back to my witty, entertaining, charming self soon. Or at least able to put on clothes instead of pajamas.

XOXO,

Sarah

Remain in Me

2010-06-05T09:37:00.001+10:00

I read John 15 today, and it occurred to me that as I’ve been getting more and more tired, stressed, angry, and resentful, I’ve been following this particular instruction less and less. Coincidence? I think not. It’s been so easy to fall off this wagon. But I don’t like the person I’m becoming without God’s word imprinted daily on my heart. So though I’m weary, though I’m worn, I will reach up for His hand, and allow Him to lift me back to a higher place through His strength, not my own.

And today’s devotion was about perseverance. The context for me is completely different, but I think it still applies. Motherhood, domesticity, wifehood – it’s really, really, really hard. Housework is endless, and at the end of the day, when the children are in bed, it looks a bit like someone has broken into our house. I heave a deep sigh, dig in, and clean it all up. Again. That takes perseverance. Cleaning something that you KNOW will be dirty again. Picking up toys that you’ll undoubtedly pick up 20 times in a day. Saying things that you’ll repeat countless times throughout the day. Making cups of tea and coffee that you know will go cold and get tipped out long before you have a chance to actually sit and drink them. That, my friends, is perseverance. I persevere because I have hope. Hope that this time, it will be different.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go and persevere at motherhood. And put clothes back on my toddler. Again.

What have we been up to?

2010-06-03T08:40:00.006+10:00

Sorry - I've been kind of quiet lately - my preferred method of posting is via email, and because we just got a new computer, I haven't figured out how to transfer my old address book to my new one, without manually entering all the data. Lazy, I know.

So what have we been up to? Well, the girls are now officially in their own room at night. Last night we let C come in with us, because we were having some thunder, wind, and rain. She's a bit scared of that, so I relaxed the rules. But for the most part, the girls are happy to sleep in the same room. Yay!

Next step for C is to begin tackling night-time potty training. I realise it's maybe a bit early, but it can't hurt to begin the process. Also on the agenda is daytime potty training for P. She's been throwing all sorts of signs of readiness, but I've been putting her off because it's too cold to let her go without pants. Yesterday, she came to me and said "poop...toilet", and begun to strip off her clothes. So we went and sat on the toilet for a few minutes, but nothing happened. I dressed her, and about a minute after that, she did a poo in her pants. So she's ready. I'm not going full-steam, like I did with C. If we're at home, I'll whack her in undies. If we're out, she gets a nappy. No big deal.

I am so ridiculously organised and prepared for this baby - I've got everything set up and in place except for the car seat, nappies, and wipes. All I have left to do is finish paying off the car seat, stock up on some nappy changing supplies, go to my checkups, and wait. Oh, and eat my weight in potatoes. Seriously though, I'm hoping my glucose test comes back okay, because if I have to give up potatoes for the next 3 months I might just go insane. Just kidding, it would be totally worth it for the health of my little one. I'd do it in a second, without TOO much complaint.
Something that's different this time is that I'm not counting down. Maybe because it's the last time, but I just don't want this to go too quickly. I'm enjoying this special time with my baby, when it's just the two of us. She's a little stinker, and doesn't really like it when I sit down, because every time I do, she kicks the living snot out of me. I think she gets squashed. The one exception is if I'm sitting and I lean back. Then she doesn't seem to mind.

The weather today is windy, rainy, and cold. Perfect for staying inside, except that we need milk (again). I so don't want to take the girls out in this, but without milk, there is no coffee.

Last night, HUGE cockroach crawled out of the drain in the bathroom floor and ran into our bedroom, where it was hiding in the gap under the wardrobe door and the floor. I hunted that thing down like I was on safari in deepest, darkest Africa. I was NOT going to sleep without finding that bugger and exterminating it, post haste. Which we did. I feel bad, because they probably don't know how gross they are - they just go about their business. And they can't help being creepy, it's just what they are. He was just looking for a warm place to hang out. But dude, sorry - my bedroom is off limits. Hang out in my toilet, in my bathroom, no problem. but the rest of the house? OFF LIMITS. VERBOTEN. DO NOT ENTER.

I think the rain might be slowing a bit, so I might close this and take us out on an adventure.

XOXO,
Sarah

A full night of sleep, preschool disco, and mucho housework, amigos!

2010-05-25T08:27:00.002+10:00

The girls took a while to go to sleep last night, but it was too cute. I could hear them laughing and giggling together, instead of sleeping, so I wasn't too stern when I went in to settle them. They went to sleep soon enough, and it was nice to hear them playing and laughing and not arguing with each other. And once they went to sleep, they slept until 6:30!!! L said that when he came in to go to bed, I was sleeping so peacefully, he decided not to disturb me and slept in the other room. I probably wouldn't have noticed but it was thoughtful all the same.

Tonight C's preschool is having a disco party, and the kids are encouraged to dress up. So after we drop C off, we're going to go to the discount shop and find a fairy dress-up outfit for her. I'm wondering if I'm supposed to dress up too, but I don't want to be the only parent there looking sparkly. Maybe I'll go halves, and wear a tiara and some wings? I'm also supposed to bring a plate to share, and I'm not sure what to bring. Nothing too complicated, but I had the thought that I could make something. What, I don't know. Hmmm.

Anywho, after yesterday's exhausting schedule, today we're mostly at home. The weather seems kind of grey and rainy, so it's just as well. So after we procure a fairy costume, P and I are coming home, and we'll 'play' housekeeping. She loves to help me, and there's definitely enough housework to go around. After spending most of the day out of the house yesterday, the inside didn't get much attention. C is out of socks again (except for the ones I just bought, and she's out of jeans as well. So laundry will be on the agenda, for sure. And probably some cooking, too. And floors, and dishes, and beds, and so on. :)

Got to go pack a lunch for my big bad preschooler now. See y'all later!

XOXO,
Sarah

Is this the home edition of Extreme Nesting?

2010-05-24T13:14:00.002+10:00

I had this idea just now - it sounds like a really cool idea - but I'm thinking that maybe it's a bit extreme. You be the judge?

Gather ingredients for planned meals, put each meal's ingredients into a plastic shopping bag, and label it according to the day, so that any given day, you just have to pull out the appropriate bag and there are all your ingredients, ready to go. I also thought of taking it a step further - if a recipe calls for 150g of shredded cheese, then measure out the cheese ahead of time and put that in the bag. And further still is the idea I had to include a note letting me know if there's anything still required for that meal, like meat (because it's better when it's fresher) or produce. So am I just really organised, or is that going too far?

I suppose if I have to ask, then it's probably too far - but I'm indulging my deepest domestic longings at the moment, so I might do it anyway.

Off to clean something - anything!

Oh, and Rounds 3 and 4 of the "Sleep in your own room" championship playoffs have also gone to the parental side of the house. I'll give it until round 10 before I declare victory. :)

Cheers,
Sarah

Round Two

2010-05-21T08:00:00.002+10:00

Round Two would also go to the parents.

The girls took a bit of settling, but once Daddy laid down the law, all was quiet. P woke up at about 11:00, just before I was going to bed. We sat, had some milk, and then she went back to sleep. I crawled into bed, and about an hour later, she was crying out. So I went in, and she'd done a poo. Thankfully, she didn't feel the need to play with it, but she had removed her pajama bottoms, nappy, and then gone back to bed. So I put on a fresh nappy, put on the pajama bottoms, and then she went back to sleep. Some time later, C woke up scared. So I went in, and laid down with her, and I must have fallen asleep, because when I got up to go back to my room, it was after 4am. But I went back to my room without any children, so it was a win in my book. They started and ended in their own room, and at this point that's all I'm hoping for. They'll sort out the waking up thing in their own time.

======

We're going away overnight tomorrow, and just to save myself some hassle, I've had the brilliant idea to pack the car today. Not that we'll need heaps of stuff, but it's something to do today, as we're staying home and laying low.

===========

Thankfully, the pork vindaloo wasn't too spicy. It was hot, but not enough to make me sick. It did give me some wicked smelly issues though. And then yesterday, I couldn't stop eating the mix for the apricot balls, which for the record has an entire tin of sweetened condensed milk. Meaning sugar. Meaning even worse smelly issues. Thankfully that's passed (pun intended), and I no longer have that *ahem* problem.

========

Happy Birthday to L today!

XOXO,
Sarah

Round One

2010-05-20T09:27:00.002+10:00

Round One went to the parents.

I started by telling C first thing in the morning that she was going to go to bed in her own room, and mentioning it casually during the day. I also let them play in there a bit more than usual, to let C get used to being in there. Then at naptime, (C doesn't always have a nap, but I was really tired!) I put them in there together. It took ages, and C emptied 75% of the books off the shelf, but they eventually fell asleep. Then at bedtime, there was a bit of a hold up because I had to wash C's blanket and pillow, and they weren't dry yet. The going to sleep was a bit tricky, and there was a fair amount of banging on the door and calling out, mixed with wild giggling, but after Dad went in and read them both a story, they settled down without a peep. P woke up later, before I went to bed, but I sat with her for a bit, and when I was ready to go to bed, I just took her back to bed and put her down, and she went back to sleep. Sometime around 4 I think, P woke up wet and cold, so I changed her, changed C, read them both a story, and they both settled. As an added bonus, because we left the light on (a soft moon light from IKEA), the early sun rise didn't wake them up and they both slept a bit later than normal. So I got to spend most of the night in my bed, ALONE! L says he'll rejoin me when we've definitely got the girls sleeping in the other room consistently, but for last night I got a whole giant bed all to myself! No feet to the face, no 'leaping' nappies, no cover-stealing children, just a gloriously comfortable (for 23 weeks pregnant) night of sleep.

We'll see how tonight goes, but I'm pretty happy with the first attempt. I think the difference is that L and I are on the same page now, and the girls know that. It's not so much P that struggles, but C.

And enough about my kids and their sleeping arrangements already, hey?

XOXO,
Sarah

State of Gestation

2010-05-19T08:03:00.003+10:00

At 23 weeks, 2 days pregnant, I am very much aware of the life inside me. I am so thankful that God has blessed me with this child. Though the following statements may sound like complaining, they're not meant to - they are merely statements of fact. I am quite thrilled to be in this moment, and would not trade it for all the riches of the world!

I can no longer bend over and tie my own shoes.

Vacuuming and Mopping the floor is exhausting.

I am clumsier than ever.

I've got restless feet and legs.

I have seen the beginning of cankles.

None of my clothes fit properly, maternity or otherwise.

I want to eat potatoes until I explode.

I am nesting like an insane nesting person.

When I ask P where M is, she says "in tummy"

C talks to M sometimes, and gives her kisses.

Itchy belly.

Embarrassing and extremely uncomfortable varicose veins. (Hint: NOT in my legs)

Loads of nudges, kicks, pokes, and flips happening at all hours of the day and night.

I haven't watched NCIS in about a month, because I'm too tired by 8:30 to stay awake. (I did manage to watch it last night, but fell asleep for the end of NCIS LA)

I probably shouldn't be driving, since my belly long ago started pressing into the steering wheel, but haven't figured out how to make my legs grow longer so I can operate the clutch pedal.

I am becoming more aware that I am on the downhill side of this pregnancy, and I don't want it to end, because it is the last time. Going through my diary, looking at appointments I've booked, it's a bit sad to see that this whole magical, wonderful journey is winding down. Sad, but Exciting!!!

==========

Everything up above, I wrote last night. This morning, I have just this to add:

I am officially kicking the kids out of my sleeping space, and L is backing me up this time. Last night was quite possibly the worst night of sleep I've ever had. I went to bed in my room, but somewhere around midnight P started crying. I waited, to see if she'd stop on her own, but she didn't. So , I woke up and went to sleep with P on the single mattress, but when she (and I) had finally fallen asleep again, C woke up. So I got up, went back into my room, gently closed the door, and about 30 seconds later, P woke up crying again because I'd left. Sigh. So I brought P in to the room with C and I, except C wasn't happy about it so she started pushing P with her feet, and telling her "No, you mustn't climb up here!". Which made P cry more. I finally got everyone sorted, and then the sounds of scratching dry skin filled the room. We had a discussion (Me: "Stop scratching!" Them: "Waaaaaahhhhhhh"), and when that stopped, then M started practicing her best kung fu manoeuvres. Then someone kicked someone else, and the fighting started again. Then someone needed a drink of water. Then P nearly fell off the bed. Then someone kicked me in the (extremely tender) chest. Have I mentioned that this was all in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT??? Then at 5:30, everyone woke up and wanted breakfast. (I managed to hold them off until 6:45). And now, the girls are both cranky and irritable with me, with each other, and not extremely pleasant to be around. So starting tonight, they are sleeping in their room. End of story. Full stop. I don't know how many nights this will take to work, and I don't want to know. One night at a time, until we're all sleeping peacefully, all night long.

Off for a cup of coffee, and to read more about "the olden days" (2 Chronicles)

XOXO,
Sarah

Down to business...

2010-05-17T09:55:00.003+10:00

How many ways can you eat pork?

Well, last night we had pork-fried rice. Tonight, roast pork with potatoes, carrots, onions, and gravy. Tomorrow night, probably pork curry. If we've still got leftover pork after that, I'm not sure. maybe BBQ pork sandwiches?

I kind of overestimated how large a pork roast we'd need. A little. So I'm like the Benjamin Buford Blue of pork. Wasn't that his name?

Anywho, we've done the morning rush hour, and now it's time to settle into our household routine, which will go something like this:

Tidy up kitchen, wash up breakfast dishes, sweep floor.
Tidy up lounge room, put away laundry that's living on our couch.
Make bed, put away assorted clothing
Make P's bed, lay out pajamas for tonight.
Scrub toilet, then a quick swipe of the shower and bathroom surfaces
Sweep tiles, vacuum carpets.
Grocery store for weekly supplies
Home for lunch
Naptime (my favourite time of the day!)
Quick snack
Pick up C from preschool
Dinner preparation
Washing dishes
Dinner
Bathe and dress kids for bed
Brush teeth
Stories
Bedtime
Put away food, wash dishes, clean kitchen
Tidy play room
Sit with feet up to reduce swelling (it's not hideous at this point, just inevitable after a full day on my feet)

I'd better go though, P has just thrown herself onto the floor for a reason as yet unknown to me.

XOXO,
Sarah

Well FINALLY

2010-05-16T10:04:00.002+10:00

a bright spot in the book of 2 Kings. Josiah, just when I wanted to quit reading, you came along with your zeal and gave me a reason to go on. Thanks.

Dude, I mean seriously? Reading 2 Kings, with very few exceptions, is like listening to Wiggles on repeat for days and days and days. I lost track of who was who, and began to just make a mental list - good king, bad king, bad, king, etc. and so on. And it really began to tick me off, that they just kept doing wrong. I mean, Israel were God's Chosen People. Shouldn't they have wanted to try extra hard to do the right things? What were they THINKING???

Oh, and reading about Josiah put me in mind of something else too - when I survey my kingdom (house), and I see disorder and chaos, I feel a bit like he must have - I want to destroy it and start over again. I proceed from room to room, destroying the mess and clutter, until it's free from all the stuff that makes me feel yucky.

Except the play room. I think even angels would hesitate to go in there. Ugh.

Must go and find something to eat. Baby and I are starving!

XOXO,
Sarah

Brrr...

2010-05-15T12:31:00.001+10:00

but happy. I love the cold weather. It's a bit bizarre to have it be cold, but everything is so green. But whatev. It's cold. Two-doonas-on-the-bed cold. Which makes me very, very, happy. And cold.

Going to have a cup of hot tea. And probably some chicken broth with dumplings. And later, some spicy fried rice. With lots and lots of garlic and ginger. And tonight? Roast pork, lovingly prepared by my husband, who assumes responsibility for cooking round these parts on weekends, because he is wonderful like that.

Have found something else to collect - aprons and tea towels. But not just any tea towels. Really good ones, that actually do the job of drying. Ones that ABSORB moisture, instead of just wiping it around the dish. My current lot are, for the most part, not up to the job. Not sure what's up with that, but it's annoying.

The apron thing, I'm really loving because while I might have to change my clothes if I sneeze, I won't splatter bleach or other substances on my clothes while doing housework. It's becoming an integral part of my 'uniform', and I've only got two. I'd like a few more, so that if I don't do laundry for a few days, I don't run out.

Which reminds me, I want to go check out Ebay.

XOXO,
Sarah

Well, I guess it's winter or something...

2010-05-14T07:42:00.002+10:00

Because the last couple of nights/mornings have been icy-cold, and we're all a bit sick. Nothing major, just your average cold. C and P are both congested and coughing, I've got a sore throat, and L had a stuffed nose last night. So we're quarantined again. We've got just one thing we need to do outside of the house today, and then we can spend the rest of the day snuggled up here at home. And for dinner, we're having vegetable fried rice, with loads of curry powder (the girls will have it without) garlic, and ginger. Good for what ails you, and all that. And I think I'll do some baking. A lot of baking. :) Chocolate chip cookies. And then maybe get the supplies for matzoh ball soup. It sounds really good, but I've never made it before. Has anyone ever had it?

Cheers,
Sarah