I really need to write more often...

I could easily say "I've got four kids" and leave it at that. Except that doesn't begin to describe what's been going on in my universe lately. There's just too much. So in a bullet-style update, here goes:

C - Starts kindergarten in a couple of weeks. We are so not ready. Not in the emotional sense, but in the "Gah we haven't ordered school uniforms yet!" sense.

P- Starts preschool in a couple of weeks. I hope it's able to draw her out of her shell a bit. Not change her personality, but it would be nice for her to have friends of her own, instead of just adopting her big sister's friends.

M-Still itchy. Been living in pajamas and mittens for about 6 weeks now. In a massive answer to prayer, we were able to get into a different allergist/immunologist, and we have the appointment next week. I know it's not a magic potion, that will instantly cure her, but it will be good to finally have some answers.

A- Smiling, cooing, growing so quickly. I have to admit that I'm so glad that God had other plans for our family. It's a lot of work, but I honestly cannot imagine our family without him in it.

Me - Constantly working on improving myself, involved in a couple of Bible studies, an accountability group, getting ready to step into my role as a mother to children in school/preschool, making lists, lists, and more lists, and generally just embracing it all.

L - Recently got a new job, in the same place. It's much more suited to his personality, I think.

L has taken the two bigger girls to Sydney for the week, so it's all quiet here. And lots of time for resting. :-) Which I will now do, by watching a movie that L would dislike very strongly. Last night was Jane Eyre. Tonight is "Another Year".

That's all my brain can handle tonight. I'll try to write more often!
Cheers,
Sarah

Getting My Crazy On

Today we've got a meeting at the preschool. The teacher wants to talk to me about how best to help C in her first year of kindergarten, and I need to find out why she's so horrible to people at home. Part of it is an age thing, I'm sure. And another part is that she's had such a massive year, with lots of major events, and it's a lot for anyone to process, let alone a five-year old. She was stunned to learn that Charlie loses her mind the moment things don't go her way.

This coffee I'm drinking is really, really, good. I sincerely hope they never go out of business, because I don't think I could ever drink anything else. I'm officially a coffee snob.

More laundry today, because let's face it - with a family of 6, there's always more laundry. I like laundry though, so that's cool. I also have this urge to bake some more focaccia - we're going to the community carols on Sunday, and bringing a picnic dinner, and some olive focaccia would be yummy! It means I need to go get more yeast though, which I can do after the preschool thing. With my three younger kidlets. :)
For now, I need to get dressed, finish this coffee, and thank God for The Crazy, because I wouldn't have it any other way. :-)

Insight

I discovered a few things about myself recently.

I like being in control of my immediate universe. So things that I do not control, I do not like.
Like eczema/allergies. I do the best I can to manage it, but when I hear the sound of one of my children ripping their skin to shreds, my blood pressure goes up instantly. If I'm driving, I start to speed.
There are many things in my life right now that are absolute chaos. Yes, I have a lot happening. And much of it, I can't control. Acknowledging that, and embracing it, have put me on a path to a much more peaceful place. Taking a different perspective, and seeing The Crazy as a positive, rather than a negative, has made it a bit easier to not lose my wits. Oh, sure - when you walk in the lounge room and see your five year old fingerpainting mostly on paper but spilling out onto carpet, it's a challenge to offer up peace and patience. But it's a bit easier than before, because now I'm embracing the fact that they're NOT little adults. They're kids, and kids do stuff like that. I'm not saying I'll let her paint the carpet, just that I'm trying to keep it all in perspective. Letting go of small things, and learning to focus on larger issues, is far easier. Loving my family means loving them not for who I'd like them to be, but for who they are.
I likened it to a train - I was letting others decide how the train should operate, thinking that I was making it easier on myself. In fact, I was letting go of what gives me great joy. Managing, organising, and taking care of my family, that's a big part of how I love them. By getting back into the driver's seat, I feel so much more purposeful and capable. I'm not letting other people dictate what I can or can't do anymore, and finding my own route. Because the truth is, I am me and no one else. I don't have to do things the same way others do them. It doesn't make me better, or right. It just means that my life is what it is, and I not only acknowledge it, but embrace it.

Now excuse me, because the kids are turning the Christmas tree on and off. Again.

Embrace your own Crazy - you'll be amazed at how liberating it is!